OK, I rock...

Your Score: GAMBIT

The one guy who EVERYONE wanted to see in the movies! Gambit just kicks ass. If he can't obliterate someone by chucking kinetically charged cards at them, he can beat them to death with his quarterstaff. AND he's a pimp. So what are you doing on this site, anyway? Shouldn't you be out stomping people's shit in right now?

Link: The Which X-Man Are You Test written by alexium on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I no longer need to cook...

It is sooo hot & humid in here, that I swear if I put eggs out on the counter & come back 10 mins later, they will have soft boiled themselves. The cats & I are crowded around the AC unit. I would kill for some Starbucks Caramel Cappuchino Ice Cream right now...

I HATE WORK

OH YEAH & PAIN, LOTS OF PAIN.

My world...

OK, I went home this weekend (pics to follow shortly) and my niece (Reese) was baptized - It was perfect, Fr Mel Verhoff is now the pastor at Delphos, St Johns: I worked with him extensively when he was head of Toledo Diocese Catholic Youth and School Services. He was, and can only presume still is, a really great guy. I loved seeing everyone, all of my family and spending time with my nieces - Reese sleeping and playing with Rylee. Kerry met my family and my family really enjoyed him.

We also stopped to see Chris and Brenda, Trae and Meca, and the kids. It was so good to see them again. I want to have some kind of gathering together at my place or somewhere out there just to spend an entire afternoon together.


In other news: I am in a lot of pain and the drugs are working (thank Goddess) Although the hormonal shifts have me weeping quite a bit right now. I'm trying to just chill and get my world in order.


In totally unrelated news: What the FUCK is going on w/ the Dems in congress acting like a bunch of fucking pansies and letting them pass the revision of the FISA - go look it up if you don't know what I am talking about - I'm too pissed to add a link right now. FUCK - seriously, am I the only one who sees the destruction of the checks and balances system crumbling in front of me?

We, presuming there are people reading this, need to do something about this insanity.
Right now I am open to real suggestions. I just feel overwhelmed, and I do not have the answers...

This waste of oxygen...

is the man who is the primary sponsor of House Bill 287.

And when I meet someone who actually voted to put him in office, we are gonna have such interesting words.

Fuck me, this is disgusting...

AND MUST BE STOPPED.

House Bill 287

"Section 1. That section 2919.124 of the Revised Code be enacted to read as follows:

Sec. 2919.124. (A) As used in this section, "viable" has the same meaning as in section 2901.01 of the Revised Code.

(B)(1) When the fetus that is the subject of the procedure is viable, no person shall perform or induce an abortion on a pregnant woman without the written informed consent of the father of the fetus.

(2) When the fetus that is the subject of the procedure is not viable, no person shall perform or induce an abortion on a pregnant woman without the written informed consent of the father of the fetus.

(C)(1) A pregnant woman seeking to abort her pregnancy shall provide, in writing, the identity of the father of the fetus to the person who is to perform or induce the abortion.
(2) No pregnant woman seeking to abort her pregnancy shall fail to comply with division (B)(1) of this section.
(3) No pregnant woman seeking to abort her pregnancy shall provide to the person who is to perform or induce the abortion the identity of a man as the father of the fetus if the man is not the father of the fetus.

(D) No man shall give a consent pursuant to division (B)(1) or (2) of this section as the father of the fetus if the man knows that he is not the father of the fetus.

(E) No person shall cause a man to believe that the man is the father of a fetus for the purpose of obtaining the consent required by division (B)(1) or (2) of this section, if the person knows that the man is not the father of the fetus.

(F) If, pursuant to division (C)(1) of this section, the pregnant woman identifies two or more men as possible fathers of the fetus, the person who is to perform or induce the abortion shall perform a paternity test, or cause a paternity test to be performed, to determine the father of the fetus prior to accepting any consent required under division (B)(1) or (2) of this section and prior to performing or inducing an abortion of the pregnant woman's pregnancy. No person shall perform or induce an abortion in violation of this division.

(G) It is not a defense to a violation of division (B)(1) or (2) or (C)(2) of this section that the woman does not know the identity of the father of the fetus.

(H)(1) Divisions (B)(1) and (2) of this section do not apply if the pregnant woman provides to the person who is to perform or induce the abortion either of the following:
(a) A copy of a police report or a complaint, indictment, information, or other court document that gives the person who is to perform or induce the abortion reasonable cause to believe that the woman became pregnant as the result of rape or incest.
(b) A copy of a paternity test that gives the person who is to perform or induce the abortion reasonable cause to believe that the woman became pregnant as the result of incest.
(2) This section does not apply if the abortion is necessary, in appropriate medical judgment, to preserve the life or the health of the pregnant woman.

(I) The written consent required under division (B)(1) or (2) of this section and the written identification required in division (C)(1) of this section are confidential, are not public records under section 149.43 of the Revised Code, and shall be viewed only by the pregnant woman, the man claiming to be or the man identified as being the father of the fetus, the person who is to perform or induce the abortion, any law enforcement officer investigating a violation of this section, and a court and jury in a criminal case involving an alleged violation of this section.

(J) Whoever violates this section is guilty of abortion fraud, a misdemeanor of the first degree. If the person previously has pleaded guilty to or has been convicted of a violation of this section, abortion fraud is a felony of the fifth degree."

How is this happening? How is this even an option?

Ladies stock up on your Black Cohosh and get ready for the back rooms and pain and silence again as the state once again invades our bedrooms.

I have more to say about this. But I need to form it all into words in some semblance of order before allowing it to spew it up on the page.

Oh my Goddess

I got flowers today at work. Delivered to me at the office that I did not want to be at, taking care of too many patients. From the man I love - cause he wanted to send them. And then I found this, I love this song and I love VAST. this made my day better. I feel so blessed/lucky/whatever you want to choose to word it...

Happy Lughnasadh

Enjoy the fruits of our labors...

Good golly gee whillikers

This sounds familiar, only I am trying for a partial hysterectomy to take care of the endometriosis issues and of course the polycystic ovary. woohoo. Can't wait til I am old enough to get off of the pill and get on with my life sans uterus.

Until then:

"I exist to serve..."

How many times in my youth did I say that, repeating it over and over again. How many times did I mean it? Hip deep in a service weekend, volunteering to assist others in need. How many early mornings and cold showers did we endure to make sure that the little old ladies or the poorer families in the community were taken care? In college I continued the same path, Habitat for Humanity, Lucas County AIDS Taskforce, David’s House, continuing to assist with the Dept of Catholic Youth and School Services. I did toy drives for foster kids with one of my ex’s. Even up until last fall I was working for a non-profit, certainly not for the pay, but for helping my patients. I am about to start training this fall to volunteer at the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center for hotline work and then face to face advocacy. It will eat my time outside of work, but it should fulfill the need I have to give back something/somewhere to the other. That is to say other than myself.

On the flipside of that coin, I also find myself in positions at work, all of my workplaces, where I become “Girl Friday”. I fill every gap, and need. I am a massage therapist who treats patients that no one else in the office will touch, whether it is moving the esophagus out of the way and treating Longus Colli or using Muscle Energy Techniques to correct innonimate rotations. I also answer 99% of the “tech” questions and problems that arise in the offices I work in. I simply have an excellent understanding of what we are asking the computers to do and what we need to do or information we need to give it to get the answers we want. IT IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. It is shocking every time I have to explain to someone how to use Outlook. Center managers making 3x what I make hourly + an extra week and a half vacation every year, I have to explain how to understand the reports they are supposed to fill out and how to save things to their computer. My duties are supposed to consist of aiding with the treatment of patients, and even that is limited to 1 patient per hour. Well, that is what I am being compensated for. I am not compensated extra every time I see more patients than that. I am not compensated for running extra reports, for teaching and training people how to use new and old pieces of software, for juggling 7 patients at a time. I am not compensated for everytime I juggle my own patients while providing manual treatments to someone else’s patients, because they don’t feel “up to it” or “like doing it” today.

I don’t know how to do less than I am capable of. I don’t know how to find the right job/schooling to take full advantage of my abilities and potential. I don’t know where I need to be right now in life and in work. I fall into the extra work because “I exist to serve”. This haunts my subconscious mind to this day. I do things because they need doing, it is very hard for me to actually hold out because I am not being compensated for the work that I do and the responsibilities that need to be shouldered.

I want a man like that...

When I am old, I want a man like this lying beside me on my death bed. He fucking rocks. Please note the 93 year old man was beaten with at least 50 individual blows and he still recovered in enough time to shoot the fucking robber.

I want it.

I really really want it. Just to have all to myself. I can't wait for the price to drop. (singing gently) "Happy To ME Day...Happy To ME Day"

WTF?!?!?

OMG 4R3AL WTF?

Least the fucker is going to jail.

For Liz, stay golden biiiiiiotch....

Your Score: Sophia

95! Goldenness All Day Long

Imagine it - Ottoville 1989... -- You know everything. The All-Knowing Sophia Petrillo. You may embellish from time to time but - who cares. Everyone listens to you and everyone respects you. You are OK in my book.

Link: The Golden Girls Test written by belovedlily on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I FINISHED POTTER #7

OK, I just wanted to share that with anyone who was interested & wanted to chat.

I WILL NOT SPOIL IT FOR ANYONE.

Let's just say I am satisfied w/ the ending.

YAY!!!

Who fucking new...

Your Score: Quentin Tarantino

Your film will be 42% romantic, 33% comedy, 55% complex plot, and a $ 39 million budget.

Wow! What a life you have led thus far! Action-packed, anti-social with probably dark humor. Quentin hasn't really made many films, but each successive one is a bigger and grander project ... and more violent. Karate CHOP! Your life story will probably star Michael Madsen, Uma Thurman, or some TV or movie star from the 1980s for which your film will be the comeback -- let's say Emilio Estevez. Maybe. Quentin's short directing resume includes Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, and Kill Bill Vols. 1 & 2.

Link: The Director Who Films Your Life Test written by bingomosquito on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I have seen every movie in this test.

Your Score: Completely Disturbed

100% Knowledge of Disturbing Cinema.

With your knowledge (and, one assumes, love of) disturbing cinema, you should have been the one to write this test. Not only have you watched just about every film on this test, but you can probably list quite a few more infrequently viewed movies of a disturbing nature. You have, indeed, embraced the Dark Side.

Link: The Disturbing Movies Test written by seele-brennt on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

This explains sooooo much...

Your in-depth results are:

Slytherin - 13
Gryffindor - 11
Ravenclaw - 9
Hufflepuff - 8

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

I am a LOLcat too....

21% Affectionate, 62% Excitable, 28% Hungry

Calloused. Heartless. Exuberant. You carry the heavy burden of informing children that they are adopted by jumping out of their birthday cake. A difficult task, but somebody must break the news to children on their only day of happiness.

Find out which LOLcat u r.

Teenagers & Sex

Oooooooooh such a naughty subject....

OK so "abstinence education" might not be the answer... No shit

Perhaps we could raise our children to make choices.... To consider the pros and cons of actions and of course the CONSEQUENCES of actions and make responsible decisions from there. That is to say we should HOLD THEM RESPONSIBLE for their actions, not just treat them like they are too immature to make decisions and too mature for us to control their decisions. We should give them all the knowledge that we possibly can and let them decide what to do from there.

ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!

What the fuck?

Seriously: Did you read this?!?


Name me one person who can read this & not think it is bad, very bad...

Defining "clusterfuck" part II

OK so today my job has sent me to another center, yet again. I am to run the desk - not a complicated problem, or so one would think - so the new system apparently won't let me log into separate facilities - I CANNOT JUST WALK IN AND HAVE ACCESS TO THE NEW SYSTEM LIKE I DO TO THE REST OF THE NETWORK... I instead have to fill out a form and hope that in doing so I am not screwing myself out of what access I have to other things...

AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I still Catholic if I think Benedict XVI is full of shit?

I swear that man has done pissed me off for the last time. Go read for yourself, explore him, his ideas/ideals from his words. Then for equality's sake read up on John Paul II, the only other Pope in my lifetime and see why I am so freaking hateful about this fucking mess he has made.

Defining "clusterfuck"...

I spent 12 years of my formal schooling (grades 1-12) sitting in classrooms, being bored. I got good at it. My grades sucked because I despised homework, and thought the tests were beneath me. They were in short an insult to my intelligence to regurgitate the same bullshit I had been spoonfed constantly back onto the pages. I had already digested the information and integrated it into myself. I absorbed more than I can say in those years. I pick things up quickly. I am bright. I have a 2 year degree. A sad assed lil associates degree in massage therapy. I am licensed by the state of Ohio's medical board to provide therapeutic massage to patients.

I was bored today. We are switching over to a new "paperless" electronic system. The primary clinician training was today. I did my best to make sure I was sitting with a clinician who is bright and knew the score. This was not just because she knew what the system was all about - as she had used it before, but because she is bright too. She was not prone to crying out,"My arrow turned into an hourglass, what do I do?!?!?" I do not have words to express my frustration at having to explain how to use a system I have never touched before to people who know less about computers than the average housewife. That is not to say that there wasn't a trainer there, he was doing a great job. Then again - everyday I spend more and more time fixing the IS problems of my offices. FEH!!!

More to come as this develops...

I am at work -

I am blogging from work - I am bored out of my skull
there is nothing left to do - well nothing to do but the closing things which will take me less than 15 mins to set up adn do which is nothing on the 2 hrs that I have left here. 2 more freaking hours at an office that isn't mine, behind a desk I hate being behind waiting for the damned clock to run out. I HATE THIS - just in case you missed it. It is not the end of the world - I know this, it is not even the worst case scenario. I just hate it. I am subbing in for LongTall Kate - who has secured a new job (YAY!!!) - I am so happy for her. On the other hand, and oh yes there is always another hand, I am sitting here with nothing to do but wait. I have played Zuma on my phone to the 2 battery bar line. I am bored of playing Freecell. So here I am complaining to anyone who will listen - there are no headset jacks and my neck is sore. I am ready to fall asleep any minute now if the phone would stop ringing - I can't call any insurance verifications 2º to the insurance lines being closed. my wrists hurt from the shitty set up for the desk. I HATE THIS PLACE.

Just thought I'd let you know.

ahhh more memeliciousness

78%

SERIOUSLY - IS THIS NOT 2007 AD??!!??!!??

FUCKING HELL

What the fuck - it has taken until 2007 for this to happen.


Granted there are organizations and people working to eradicate such things: FGC Education and Networking Project. It just saddens me that Adam grew so jealous of Eve that he had to cripple her to feel like a man, that we allowed this to happen to eachother. How is this ok?

"Spiffy, interesting..." indeed

I can't wait to see how this turns out. The possibilities are fascinating...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, so I've ranted and raved and complained and pleaded so many times here. I am in love. I just thought if you didn't know, or had any questions lately. That is the answer. If u haven't met him, u prolly will... We've been making the rounds.

let me just say that this is what I was searching for, and I have no complaints, none.

ok ok ok ok ok

So Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip has not been a booming success. I still love Josh, and Chandler has been wonderful. The cast over all has done e good job with everything they were given. The downside is of course that as soon as it has become reeeeally good - it has been cancelled. Of course the reason it is good is that it has returned to a very West Wing style and themes. I am crying watching Josh look at his almost daughter and in joi at the brilliant performance, and all I can think is - "West Wing".

I hope Sorkin gets another series. I hope some of the same players stay for it. I hope it is complicated and real enough to get to the meat of the matter fast enough to really be given the opportunity to grow and expand into a new dynasty.

I'm just sayin...

MMMMMMMM SOLSTICE

YAY!!!

mmmmmm chai

I love chai.

Sweet creamy goodness, running down my throat. So hot, just the right temp to drink right now. Cinnamon and nutmeg, tea and honey. I want fresh nutmeg to grate on top, don't have any right now. Ani DiFranco playing in the background, "Sunday Morning" making me smile. I'm in love. With the chai, with a man. He's out of town. so there is this sense of missing, not the end of the world, just the sense of missing his presence. The church bells have rung their song, I'm awaiting Jules, and our Fatherless Day brunch. just breathing.

Liz is not having her adrenal gland removed as planned this month. They have determined to wait longer since it has not changed.

Carpe diem my friends.

New Earrings...

YAY!!! Water Buffalo Horn from Indonesia.

Thanks Kerry.

Oh my Goddess -

Someone is actually making a mom take RESPONSIBILITY for her actions with her children. Fucking brilliant. As if the laws are complicated or something. So simple = you just don't serve underage. That is all.

Hehehehehe & I'm smart too..

Good?/Bad?

I wonder where this is headed...

I think I need to sleep on it and sort out the far-reaching ramifications.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Hope

Maybe...

Ahhhhh, now this is more like it...

You scored as Captain Jack Sparrow,Roguish,quick-witted, and incredibly lucky, Jack Sparrow is a pirate who sometimes ends up being a hero, against his better judgement. Captain Jack looks out for #1, but he can be counted on (usually) to do the right thing. He has an incredibly persuasive tongue, a mind that borders on genius or insanity, and an incredible talent for getting into trouble and getting out of it. Maybe its brains, maybe its genius, or maybe its just plain luck. Or maybe a mixture of all three.

Captain Jack Sparrow		100%
Batman, the Dark Knight		88%
Maximus		79%
Lara Croft		75%
William Wallace		71%
The Amazing Spider-Man		67%
James Bond, Agent 007		67%
The Terminator		67%
Neo, the "One"		67%
Indiana Jones		54%
El Zorro		46%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

Guilty Pleasures...

I fell in love with Roadhouse from the first moment to the last, from Sam Elliot's "That gal's got entirely too many brains to have an ass like that." to the hot pink and blue lettering. From the scenes featuring a gratuitously naked Patrick Swayze to the soundtrack featuring the Jeff Healey Band. Did I mention Sam Elliot? - Brilliant. Yes, this prolly belongs over on the other site but really the fact that I can't flip past the first half of the movie without stopping to watch it speaks volumes about me. Almost like the first 50 mins of Armageddon.

Just remember: from "Pain don't hurt" to "I used to fuck men like you in prison." it makes me smile.

Which will get more coverage on the news tonight

And which do you think is more important???

THIS or THAT

Though my views on both subjects are pretty well known. 1 greatly outweighs the other in terms of general importance to humanity at large.

Captain Trips....

Am I the only one who sees this as a huge problem with national security not to mention international health concerns that is only being highlighted in this incident. One folly of discretion after another... Since when the Hell is TB not contagious, and a threat to everyone???

STUPID MOTHERFUCKIN IDIOT

Who fucking new...

Your Score: Dr. Robert Chase

80% Eccentricity, 40% Confidence, 5% Kindness

Congratulations, you're Dr. Robert Chase! You're quite the complicated person. While you may seem like a perfectly normal extremely attractive person, there is far more to you than meets the eye. It's quite likely that you've had some unusual experiences in your life, whether it be something along the lines of a stint in seminary school or something along the lines of S&M parties. You are rather insecure, and will often do things you don't want to do to win the good favors of others. While you may seem nice enough, getting ahead and doing what's best for yourself is usually more important to you than much else in life.

Link: The House, MD Personality Test written by freedomdegrees on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

fuck with your children's mitochondrial DNA

FEED THEM SODA. Seriously. Am I the only one reading this and seeing the bit about the recall last year or the disturbing bit about benzene?

I'm just saying...

Junior Junior, Junior, Junior...

I have a new roommate, only he is not a roommate. Junior is sharing some of my space cause he needs it and just landed a job at the House of Blues (cause he rocks) - We have been very clear about communication -
here is a pic in case you didn't know him already and the YouTube is his burlesque act of a year or more ago - cause it is Junior. He has many other names and talents, but really he is like my little brother - & if you haven't put 3 & 4 together yet - he was along for the ride to Madison in the fall.

Fuck yeah....

The words of Warren, this is what I say everyday and no one listens...

St Louis...

OK so I feel SOOOOOOOO old. Caitlin has graduated. I went w/ my cousin (possibly the greatest man in the world) all the way to St Louis to see the graduation. It as long and drawn out and insane. I watched her mother bait her father (and he of course declined like a gentleman). It was astounding to watch the show. And of course to accept that yes, she is really grown up and wearing the robe and hat and has a diploma in her hand. I loved spending time w/ her. It was wonderful. Now, if we could just get her to learn how to eat w/ chopsticks...


Oh and then I slept, I had Monday and Tuesday off, and I slept and cleaned (started to anyway), and had an intermittent visitor (Kerry) it was most enjoyable. I wouldn’t trade those extra days off for all of the world.

What the fuck...

What the Hell kind of world am I living in? Who does this...

Ding dong...

THE Motherfuckinbackstabbingfearbasedfaithingpieceofshitcocksucker is DEAD!!!

Peace for all who have been prosecuted by his particular brand of "christianity" based on fear and hatred instead of love and peace. 1 less voice making life harder for gay youth and fighting against the physical and emotional well-being of women.

The Wedding pt 2

NO BLOODY PICS YET grrrrrrrrrrrrr...

There are no words to express the rushes of emotions left from my sister’s wedding. My baby sister is now married, to a wonderful man who I totally approve of. My approval is totally optional. I know this. I saw so many people I haven’t seen in years. Many of which I met for the first time at Show & Tell in my 1st & 2nd grade years. They were the younger siblings of my classmates. So eerie to see them all grown up.

HIGHLIGHTS:

Seeing my brother-in-law Larry caring for his daughter Reese.
Rylee, my niece falling asleep in my arms at the reception.
Mom’s best friend offering me wine as I sat w/ Rylee asleep in my arms.
One of the many bridesmaids pulling up my hair and putting ice on my neck while I sat w/ Rylee in my arms.
Eric for actually going to get the parents of Rylee so I could be free again after 15 mins of sweating 6 yr old glommed onto me int eh middle of the reception.
Running around like a madwoman being “my mom’s bitch” all weekend.
Wrapping 13 pairs of shoes and putting together gift bags w/ my sister and her maid of honor.
Talking to Bachelor 7:2007 (hereby named for future reference: Kerry) on the drive and seeing him after getting home from the wedding. Every so often it is so nice to be with a man who actually cares about me.
The car ride w/ Caitlin on the way to Lima w/ following my mom w/ Reese.
Getting to see so many of my crazy relatives and Brian and Sarah’s new baby.
All the extra baby time I spent w/ Reese and Morrigan before the wedding.
Walking my sister down the aisle.
Walking my mother back up the aisle.
Txting w/ Bachelor 3:2007 before the ceremony. HOT – thanks again if you read this.
Seeing my sister take her vows with the man she loves.
Being entirely not sober w/ my mother and the parents of the groom going to a dive bar near the reception site.
Watching my mother, the instigator sip on her drink while shouting at the mother of the groom to chug hers.
Eating pizza w/ Liz’s new in-laws at 2am.
Retiring to my room alone, to shower and relax w/ not a care in the world.
Rylee falling asleep on me while we were waiting to open presents the day after the wedding.

The memes continue

Your results:
You are Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)

Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command) 80% Jayne Cobb (Mercenary) 75% Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic) 75% Derrial Book (Shepherd) 70% Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic) 70% Malcolm Reynolds (Captain) 65% Wash (Ship Pilot) 65% River (Stowaway) 55% Inara Serra (Companion) 50% A Reaver (Cannibal) 35% Alliance 20%

Dependable and trustworthy. You love your significant other and you are a tough cookie when in a conflict.

Click here to take the Serenity Personality Quiz


Who knew?

Seriously

OK, I knew I was coming home to walk my sister down the aisle... I knew mom had sd a few times that there were 25 people in the wedding & for some reason that translated in my lil mind to mean that there were 25 people - including the bride and groom, mom and I, the groom's parents, the mini-bride/groom, maybe some assorted (I was thinking like 6 or so) bridesmaids and groomsmen and of course bestman/maid of honor...

I WAS WAAAAAY WRONG. There are 13 women and 12 men in the bridal party... including 2 best men, a maid and matron of honor, and 11 bridesmaids and 10 groomsmen, not including a mini-bride, and 2 mini-grooms. DUDE, It is surreal how big this wedding is going to be - the rehearsal last night was insane. We filled a hall w/ just the wedding party and their dates/spouses. It is overwhelming to say the least. I am sitting right this second dressed & waiting to go up to the church. Waiting...

Home

Home, safe and sound - a lovely conversation already had. A beautiful 60º outside spent swinging on a swing on the porch, looking at the stars reflecting in the lake. Beautiful. Breathtaking. Perfect.

I'm off to bed - the wedding is in less than 36 hrs.

Weak

Weakness is not desired here. I do not wish to surround myself with cowards. I hate that it takes so long for people to show their tru colors. I wish everyone had warning signs. Or somewhere you could go see that when push comes to shove comes to bowling you over they will skip out. They will leave you standing alone. Because you stand, you don't know any other way. For all of the "bending like water" you stand. I hate getting kicked in the gut, stomped on by life, by the garbage, by my fears, by my insecurities, and looking up and finding myself alone. I swear I wasn't when things came up, but now I am.

I didn't write this today. I wrote it a while back - & heard a name scurry across my iChat and remembered a coward and remembered starting to write something...

So I figured I would write more today.

I'm not her. I don't start fights w/ boifriends for no reason. I am not radiation when I argue - I do not fester the wound in a relationship and expect things to be ok. I am strong enough to be alone.

It's the End of the World as we Know it....

And I feel fine.

Fucking Brilliant or "When Ducks Fuck"

This is fascinating stuff...



The genitals of the mallard (Anas platyrhynchos), female vagina on the left, male phallus on the right (size bar = 2 centimeters). An escalating sexual arms race between male and female mallards over which sex gets to control reproduction has resulted in increasingly longer phalluses and ever more elaborate vaginas. Credit: Patricia Brennan

MayDay

Happy Beltane

No sex for me, no broom jumping either, no bonfire, nothing but some Chinese food and a cold bed...

If you've got someone, fuck 'em. If only for the rest of us who sleep alone tonight...