The story of my life?

"I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." ~ Elie Wiesel

I cause all kinds of problems, all the time.  No joke.  I open my mouth & I expect others to do the same.  I require it.  To be less is to roll over for the abusers, an unwillingness to fight, to stand for yourself or others.  Fuck that.  I don't need that.  Peddle it elsewhere.


Epiphany of the day

I went in to work today - still at one of the greatest places on Earth.  I spent part of my early morning talking about it & our industry in general with one of my oldest and dearest friends who was also recently hired in.  While he was sitting with me at my desk I introduced him to my coworkers - informing them of how we knew eachother, that he is new, where he is working in the company after training, etc...  I love this guy & he is brilliant & amazing.  I want him to succeed, I want him to have familiar faces & even though not everyone will remember him after such a brief introduction - you and I both know that it banks until later.  He won't remember everything about everyone either but again, it banks in the memory.  For all the modernness of our lives the company is by & large a Knowaguy network.  Things get done & get going & ideas take off because someone knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy & people talk & make stuff happen.

I realized today that my behavior is pretty much the exact opposite of the behavior of 3 people I was friends with when I started.  I have many other friends at the company and they tapped me in to the Knowaguy network but those 3 that I was "closest" to at the time made zero effort to do so.  The stark contrast is shocking.  I hope my efforts make my friend's transition into the company and path to prosperity easier than my own. 



It took about 8 months for all of the cowards and victims to be removed from my life last year.  I'm pretty sure that I am currently clean.  I hardly noted their passing.  It feels so good to no longer have a cadre of self-hating synchophants badgering me constantly for my attention, enthusiasm, love, and pitching butthurt fits when I failed to notice or care about their demands.  I feel a drive to develop a Gom Jabbar of sorts for new people I meet - but mostly I've learned to watch more carefully the interactions of people with the perceived power around them.

I spent NYE in Berkeley with Kelly & Woody - as we counted back through the funerals, births, false starts, failures, and triumphs of the past year it felt like home.

I'm not sure what is left to be resolved this year.  I've managed to remain myself paddling through the hot molten crazy around me this year.  Work is wonderful, my living situation is amazing, my health is stellar, and my relationships are pretty phenomenal.  One possible area is to purposefully be more aware of allowing anyone in my life who use me as their "Slappy Dappy".