I am bloody exhausted

Such a fucking day. I juggled more patients than a girl should ever have to today. It would have been easier if I could have picked them up and physically juggled them. Instead I was stuck juggling their treatments. Lunch was Ramen and an orange, and breakfast was an orange... I was hungry. I was at work and extra hour and 15 mins than I had planned on at the beginning of my day. 2 of my patients tore my heart out = 1 was cancery the other had a bit of a setback - no one's fault, it happens. The rest just needed, needed waaaaay too much. My bed looks soooo good, I am 1/2 snuggled in right now. food in my tummy, yummmmm. Truth: I could use a really good rubdown. & tomorrow is scheduled 7a-7p. I WANT A DRINK.



Erica gets a break & that makes me happy!!!



Make my eyes hurt, my brain is even sore from mindfucking everything to death. I hate games and nonsense. WHY THE HELL can't people just fucking communicate? TALK - TALK TO ME. SAY THE THINGS YOU NEED TO, NOT JUST KEEP ME IN THE DARK SO I KEEP MINDFUCKING THINGS TO DEATH!!!



Bout damned time...

For them to take their heads out of their asses... Seriously, it's official.


Ordered for me

Another ultrasound of my breasts, and a mammogram, and a consult w/ a breast surgeon - to discuss a biopsy. Just letting you know. The mass in my left breast is bigger than 2 months ago w/ more defined edges.


Need I say more?



My taxes are done, now leave me alone. I hate paying the gov more when I need new tires - though at this rate next year I won't owe since my old Friday job has yet to pay me. Wonder if lawyer fees for recovering wages are tax deductible?


God, I'm bored - the memes continue

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Your Porn Star Name Is...

Ruby Lips

Apparently I am special too:
Your Personality is Very Rare (INTP)

Your personality type is INTP. You are goofy, imaginative, relaxed, and brilliant.

Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 6% of all men
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving.

And I am hardcore emotionally bright - who knew...
Your EQ is 140

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

You are Bettie Page

Girl next door with a wild streak
You're a famous beauty - with unique look
And the people like you are cultish about it

Your Famous Movie Kiss is from Cruel Intentions

"I'm the only girl you can't have, and it kills you."


I heard the news today...

and could not believe my eyes. Kurt Vonnegut is dead. The gentle solace I have taken over the years that though he is not publishing anything right this second (last to release was in 2005) he is still out there somewhere thinking. I have used his works to describe everything from the industrial school system I was subjected to growing up (Harrison Bergeron) to the Prions, which cause Transmissible Spongiform Encephalopathies (ice-nine). I remember getting in trouble in school because I was reading “Breakfast of Champions” in 5th grade & the teacher threw a fit – that it was inappropriate for my age level… I was 10 yrs old and already beyond redemption when it came to his writing. My own writing skills are sorely lacking in comparison.

This being the equivalent of saying: “Dude, Vonnegut is dead, what the fuck?” I remember in highschool, and my distaste for my highschool classmates is now practically legendary, I bonded with one of the popular bois when he read "Slaughterhouse Five" and wrote a report on it for class – I was the only person other than the teacher who had read it and therefore he could talk to about it. & he needed to talk, process out the story as it sunk into him. It has always tickled my black heart to no end that I actually watched someone’s attitudes and outlooks change after reading it.

This is where the rational voices kick in reminding me of Vonnegut’s smoking, his long life, well lived. 84 years is longer than 5 of my 6 grandparents (including the adopted set) got to be on this earth.

"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center."

My god, I hope he is enjoying the view.


Ode to Toby and Erica

What could be more appropriate than a squirrel drinking Guinness?

Buried at


Joi....mmmmmm CANDY

I love Jolly Ranchers. I love them so very very much. The slightly sticky outer skin as it is slowly softened by my tongue. Then the way it gets stuck on one of my teeth to slowly continuing to release flavor after the candy is gone. The sharp shards as the candy snaps off under the crush of my teeth. Chewing and sucking the goodness until I give in and swallow them slowly down. mmmmmmm Jolly Ranchers. My favorite flavors are Green Apple and Raspberry. Donations are accepted in all flavors.

Oh Becca

Oh how this made me think of you. And poking you... and poking penguins.


Holy memes - I'm bored


Oh the babies...

So I am at homehome for Easter (Happy Zombie Jesus Day!!!) And I spent time on the way home with Morrigan - oh my goodness she is big, and sweet, so sweet. And right now I just finished feeding Reese - also big, and despite reports that she is now disliking strangers, she loves me and has been smiling and giggling at me since she got here last night. Smelling all babylike cause they are both only 4 months and 6 days old, still on breast milk and lil formula/smooshed foods. It is so nice to see my mom turn into a cuddly ball of mush when she is taking care of Reese. I just thought I would share - the babies are wonderful, and seeing Iamys, Ian, and Damien last night in Toledo was wonderful. Today I get to see Rylee my niece, and I can't hardly wait.

My sisters: Mandy (the middle one) looks great for just having had a second kid. and Liz looks amazing, her hair is not what she would prefer, but she looks healthy and is feeling pretty good, that is really all I can ask for right now. The wedding is so close, and of course I am dealing with the fact that I am going to be going alone. grrrrrrrrrrr... only consolation is that I look hot in my dress & my Laurie/Shawn & Caitlin are all gonna be in town for it.


Bout Goddamned time...

NORML love has yet to update the changes, but - Reuters is on the ball. New Mexico has joined the ranks of the medical marijuana goodness. FUCK YEAH!!!


Oh how wrong he is

"The worst stuff is not going to happen because we can't be that stupid," said Harvard University oceanographer James McCarthy, who was a top author of the 2001 version of this report. "Not that I think the projections aren't that good, but because we can't be that stupid."

Stupid humans, stupid, stupid humans.

Meandering thoughts this full moon

So I had the best loooong talk today w/ Ira - yes Ira I sd your name. We talked about sex and relationships and the general hardships I find going about the Bachelor Hunts, year after year of the same guys - even when they alter slightly. The same lines about sex - what they are up for, where they have been and where they are willing/interested in going. & of course the worst of it for me wanting to find a stable, safe, loving relationship, in which to resume a healthy sex life. Basically it boils down to wanting to find a future with someone that includes a sexual component, but that searching based on that component leads no where good - because guys get the idea that I am all about sex right this minute. & if you know me by now, I am not. I wax romantical here often, because I can. As Roxy Carmichael says,"It's good to want things." I'm interested in Bachelor (3: 2007), but I can't get a read on whether he is really a grown up or if he is stuck as a perpetual 10 year old.

On finally watching

The Riches - I love it so far - onto ep 3, mostly I find it endearing that Eddie Izzard - my favorite straight boi in a frock has a son in it who is often in a frock. It makes me smile - sooooo much.