So Paul Harvey is dead. Another voice of my life is silenced.  The voice I now listen to w/ nostalgic tears in my eyes.  I hated the endless hours of him on AM/NPR/Whatever the hell dad was playing on the radio that wasn't music.  To and from work, day after day - I just can't believe he's gone.


on scary moments

this is the view from my desk - the plant people were doing the plants today & as a part of that they shake the trees to knock down the loose leaves.  All i could think was "Velociraptors in the building!!!!"  We are a bit surrounded by emptyish land/isolated - even the deer think so.  Below is a view looking outside the windows on my floor.



Maybe I'm just a sucker for a hot man - a really really bright and tall and hot man - maybe I want eyes I can get lost in telling me that the future is not going to be easily won & that we have to start working on it yesterday - maybe I want to have to look up into those eyes and see in them trust and support and not condescending platitudes - maybe I want his voice to be able to challenge me to actions screaming into the night sky - maybe I want the same voice to sing me lullabies to sleep dreaming of a tomorrow of power and passion - maybe all of that

Peter Garrett - let me tell you how much I love this man. He is not one of my elected officials - but damned if I wouldn't vote for him if the opportunity arose. Now I know that many of you thought I was talking about Obama - he's lovely, but the power of his words have yet to strike me as Garrett's have. His voice has yet to drive me to tears.

And I freely admit that yeah - everytime I sit in church as I did this morning for Ash Wednesday mass I hear INXS playing "Devil Inside" in my head. Just as everytime I see/hear of our latest military action I hear "US Forces" raging in my head. The song is so old but still how much of our military actions since it was written fall under the same standard.

"U.S Forces give the nod
It's a setback for your country
Bombs and trenches all in rows
Bombs and threats still ask for more
Divided world, the CIA, say who control the issue
You leave us with no time to talk
You can write your own assessment

Sing me songs of no denying
Seems to me too many tired
Waiting for the next big thing

Will you know it when you see it
High risk children, dogs of war
Now market movements call the shots
Business deals in parking lots
Waiting for the meeting of tomorrow

Sing me songs of no denying
Seems to me too many tired
Waiting for the next big thing

Everyone too stoned to start a mission
People too scared to go to Prison
We're unable to make decisions
Politicians party line, don't cross that floor
L.Ron Hubbard can't save your life
Superboy takes a plutonium wife
In the shadow of Ban The Bomb we live....."

From those first few beats of the percussion - I remember hearing it when I was young; almost too young to understand. Does this mean I'm too old now to forget?

Maybe I just dig him as a secondary to loving Richard O'Brien - I wouldn't be surprised - not at all. Somehow all that twisted artistry being replaced with a social conscience.

hmmm yummmm


My dry house

Humidifier acquired - it ran on middle setting all last night at the lowest humidistat setting - when i woke up it was still running & almost empty - 3 gallons dumped into my air & still dry it is.  less blood from my nose this morning - more mucus = yay

& my bitching about Lyrica ads:
To Quote: "My fibromyalgia muscle pain is real"
So spokesbeotch what you are saying is "My muscle fiber pain muscle pain is real" - what up jackass?  The ad then goes on the stroke the fibro patient's ego by telling them that it is not an anti-depressant but real medicine to address a real medical condition.  I have worked with fibro patients and guess what - 99% of them do need to be on anti-depressants - chemical anti-depressants.  They should be in Physical Therapy to learn how to keep their bodies in good working order despite the pain, serious counseling to sort out their own heads & reframe & deal with the pain in a healthy way instead of the life alteringly bad habits they have unerringly picked up.  Seriously.  There is a reason that the Clinic's intensive pain management program has a huge psych component.  & a reason that people who leave in the middle of it continue to be in pain as they bitch about the docs trying to address their thought processes.  This is not me being mean or trying to say that "the pain they sense is a figment of their imagination" - It is not - it is real - but it is also their organic nerves & their organic brain involved.  Mentally they need to sort out what/who they are with this pain component in their lives.  9 times out of 10 fibro patients have been in so much pain for so long that they are against anyone even implying that they (personality/mentally) have changed as a part of it.  They are used to medical professionals treating them like hypochondriacs.  I have worked with people who literally would say things behind the patients' backs along the lines of "fakers" - "crybabies".  On the other hand most of the fibro patients I've worked with want to either not try anything new to feel better or they are willing to try  - but they want results immediately.  & NO PATIENTS EVER WANT TO DO THE WORK TO FEEL BETTER - seriously - doesn't matter if it is a fibromyalgia issue, a knee replacement, a cold - everyone wants to just *poof* feel better magickally.  New pill, surgery, and they expect to feel instantly better.  NOT gonna happen & if you do start to heal it is never an easy cruise to no pain.  There are always hills and valleys.  

OK I'm better now.



Mardi Gras prep this year:

Remember this?
Well I found out more - many weeks ago - apparently that posting was a catalyst for an actual explanation of what was going on.  A tirade of emails and IMs and even a text message followed.  It was ridiculous how much information was suddenly not offered but crammed at me.  It was never offered to discuss anything just a spewing forth of information, threats, and criticism.  I've deleted all of it.  What I read in detail brought forth that my "friend" had some big issues with me that she never bothered to mention and that while she was distancing herself from me she tried to destroy another friendship of mine.  It was really sad.  I've been told by others who have known her longer than me that this sort of thing is a part of her usual behavioral pattern.  I'm so happy to know this now & not later.  I mourn the woman I thought she was & the relationship that I thought we had but I am happy that her true feelings finally came out.  On that note I feel clean & will not be mentioning it again unless you ask.  

I'm good - I think that was the last thing I was carrying from this past year - everything is on the table/addressed with those whom it needs to be addressed.


Happy Birthday you sick old fuck

I love you


Oh Lupercalia

Oh holy Lupa 
I wonder if we ought to have a sweet lil prayer to her like to the mother Mary - I'll work on that.
This year it has been wonderful: The opening was glorious - we walked all the way to Lily's Chocolates which was really quite nice and though they were sold out of chocolates we talked booze w/ the owner perused their fine fine selection.  A reward for our kindness was a bit of the broken chocolates to taste - I have a dark w/ port ganache (amazing).  Katelynn's art was amazing- the space she was showing in was perfect.  All followed after by Caipirinhas and mango lime margaritas & food at Johnny Mangos.  Last night there was Tequila and porn at Froggy and Tyger's place - I made the margaritas - from scratch - fresh grapefruit & regular.  Soo good.  There were new people and old people and fascinating conversation and good food & drink & I ended up at home at around 0300 - Joi - I'm awake now - I have no plans for today beyond naps & bits to eat.  & rehydrating myself for work tomorrow.  


This cunt should have been stopped

I haven't sorted a punishment yet appropriate for the situation.  But the people who give her money are flaming idiots of the highest caliber.  They should be treated as mental patients; so should she but i want her treated a patient about 200 years ago.  I want her to suffer for the pain she is causing the kids all 14 of them & the interviews wherein she says she plans on having more make me want to sneak in & sterilize her in her sleep.


2 years have past...

And I am now in possession of sweet ass new phone - still getting used to it of course & can I just say that the "Backup Assistant" App is the greatest thing ever - 105 contacts all safe & sound.  I'm assigning ringtones right now - ahhh a whole new scheme.

I love you all - I'll soon have email & web access on it all the time.

i am joi w/ new toy


Sunday morning I miss you the most...

Oh yes I have Ani in my head - I've been up since 0500ish - I'm watching Dark Knight (again) 3rd time in the past 24 hours, apparently I just need to get it out of my system.  I've made good breakfast, small bit of hashbrowns, eggs/cheddar/bacon salt, & hot chai w/ extra cayenne.  I have an herbal orange/cranberry tea that I am slowly sipping w/ honey to calm my innards & throat.  I've given the cats catnip & fury meeses to play with.  I hear them tumbling about my study.  I think once it hits double digits I will throw in Devil's Rejects & do the carpets til the meds wear off then it is FASFA & taxes for me (YAY).  So much to do & so much getting done.  

Laundry later I think - course that means I'll have to get dressed grrrrrr.  & complete change of bedding & mattress flipping.  

Oh yeah

And this... I so can't wait to see what we do with this.  

Aside, you know, from the fact that we could bring forth another of the 10 plagues of ancient Egypt... not that we would ever do that...


Conceptually this just rocks

I'm so excited at the changes in the medical field, over joyed at the continued understanding of things & ideas & diseases.  Just thought I'd share the brain diabetes.

Friday the 13th

Ahhh next Friday is Friday the 13th - I have plans: I want you to join me.  

First off the Tremont Art Walk - My friend Katelynn Altgilbers is showing at Mastroianni Photography/Mastroianni Arts.  She is amazing in every way & aside from the art walk generally being a good time (oh those summer days of drunken wandering w/ Long Tall Kate & company) - I want to go to Mangos after.  I want delicious food & drink w/ friends please.

& deep down I think you want it too.

So holler @ your girl & we can sort out a plan.



He is the Goddamned Batman