IN 3D..

Last night I found friends and went to see My Bloody Valentine in 3D.  I've loved the original for years, not because it is an especially good movie, it is not, in fact it is a horrible horror movie.  I was excited to watch the new version in 3D.  I loved the use of 3D in a horror film.  Yes, they use every obvious graphic & concept & they did a damned good job of it.  They even stuffed an eviscerated body in a dryer.  Of all the films to choose from this was perfect for the 3D platform because the primary weapon is a pick axe.  Though I would love to see a very Cthulu centric movie made in 3D tentacles to realistic that it makes me twitch away from the slime.  

Before the movie there was food & drink, after there were games and talk.  So lovely I returned home at around 0300.  I snuggled in & watched Brimstone (thank you Chiller TV) until I fell asleep.  

Rest & joi before the next 6 day work week.  


Hitler Youth indeed...

I've given it my very best.

I hate the current pope.  At this point this is just too much.  

This article was sent to my mother & she shared it with me. I'm reposting it here. I wish that the unborn lives they are talking about saving were to be saved with education & the open sharing of ideas. Instead it was through protesting & attempts to legislate narrow religious views onto other bodies. BUT the important part is the bits about my dad. I know every person in the article, it is a step down memory lane, with the nostalgia is a heavy dose of the loss, it is good to see other people remember & miss my dad too.

I'm so far away geographically that it is seldom anyone brings up my dad here, no one here knew him. At home my mom is surrounded by people who knew him, who mourned the loss of him. I am alone, I tell the stories to those who listen but I am still alone in my loss.

by Ed Luersman

The spring of the year was always extra busy on our dairy farm but it was busier when it was a late spring, as it was about 25 years ago, when I found myself as busy as a one arm wallpaper hanger with the hives. Usually I could relax while driving the tractor but that morning I was troubled about all that wasn't being done, not so much the farm work but more so with my faith walk with other people.
I found myself fretting and praying about not getting around to speaking personally with three persons in our parish. Our Pastor Father Roger Bonifas about something that I do not now recall, Walt Miller about the Cursillio weekend he was soon to partake in. Walt a few years later would be ordained The Reverend Mr.Walter Miller Deacon of the Diocese of Toledo to serve our parish as the third Deacon of our parish & the one who could sing. How about that Deacon Joe? Deacon Walt would also serve as Chaplain at the hospital. Walt's untimely death from cancer was a great loss, not only to his faithful wife Jill and their lovely daughters but to all of us whose lives he touched. The third person I wanted to talk personally with was Mrs. Kenneth Bendele (Diane) a busy mother who was taking time to do what she could to save the unborn. If only our world had more Dianes.
After a hurried dinner that day I called Father Bonifas to ask him when I could talk with him. He said how about right now. Well the tractor would have to wait. As I walked up to the priest house, Walt Miller was coming out of the house. So I thought I'm going to kill two birds with one stone. After my conversation with Father Bonifas I recalled the letter my lovely wife Helen ask me to take to the post office where who would I meet but Diane Bendele.
Though it was a late start, I had a very relaxed afternoon on that tractor. Yes, WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF THE TIMING?


That's about goddamned time

Finally the Global Gag Rule has been lifted.  Finally we are taking a step towards treating other people in other countries with the same dignity and respect with which we treat our own.


I love Poe

I just heard her on tv!!!
Yes it is a crap car commercial.  
BUT, it was "Hey Pretty" - I hope she is making money off of it.  I hope she puts out a new album.  
I love that woman.


How many horror movies start out this way?

I'm smiling...

"My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often, the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land -- a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America: They will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the fainthearted -- for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things -- some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor -- who have carried us up the long, rugged path toward prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again, these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act -- not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions -- who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them -- that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works -- whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account -- to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day -- because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control -- and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart -- not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: Know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort -- even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West: Know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment -- a moment that will define a generation -- it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends -- hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism -- these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility -- a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world; duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence -- the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed -- why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back, nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."


Big News!!!

Catzia of Wine & Barbed Wire has finally got her Etsy store up & running.  Joi!!!  Catzia's Jam Session is ready for orders.

I'd like your thoughts

So I had a friend.  I trusted her & felt comfy & joious with her in my life & received an email "break up" note from her at 0124 Friday.  Apparently she's been nursing awkwardness & bitterness towards me since I (per her request) found out why things are so jacked up between her and another friend.  Apparently the fact that I see a different side of things and offered her that viewpoint & despite the fact that she acted like she accepted it at the time, she is unhappy about it.  I've felt no awkwardness, but then I've been upfront and honest about how I saw things, so I can see how that can be a problem.  She has made it abundantly clear in said note that she would like to resume a friendship when & if it is convenient for her.  My response to her note consisted of "ummm ok" accepting that I do not want to be friends with her if she is clearly not emotionally invested in it.  I'm not all about stalking/pursuing a friendship with someone who is willing to now & will in the future disrespect me in such a manner.  Not a phone call, not a word the last time I saw her, apparently lying excuses left for me for the lsat week or so as she couldn't be bothered to take my calls, all of which I totally bought.  I had no idea she was harboring all of this.  Since receiving the note I've been busy (obviously) and haven't really sat down to process til tonight.  I'm cutting all traces of her from my life cyber or otherwise.  A very strange sense from me but if my friendship, love, and trust are worth so little then fuck it.  If my support & affection is worth so little then I want nothing to do with her.  Perhaps this is me being extreme but fuck it.  I'm worth more than that and treating me in this manner is simply unacceptable.  

So yeah - tell me what you think - I'll be deleting.


End of Marathon

I am currently home safe & sound, I've showered & slept, I've made & eaten a bit of food. The drive home was really snowy & sketchy - the trek across campus to my car was less than pleasant - sections where the sidewalks hadn't been touched had me dragging my cart thru deep snow - there is not a lot of clearance under it.

Last movies:

Paprika - was really really brilliant. I loved the paths that it took.
The World, The Flesh and The Devil - was a really intense study of racial relations. Casual rape threats just accepted as the norm. That part really grated me as the crowd cheered the would-be rapist on. I know the intent & haha factors but i found the threats far more chilling
A Scanner Darkly - I was tearing up by the end. I found it interesting the reactions from the people around me as they were kvetching about the animation (which I like for this particular piece) and cracking jokes until they "got it". Then silence, no one said a word as the final statement sat on the screen. & the people right next to me understood why i was crying.
Iron Man - I heart this movie - seriously. I don't need to own it, but i really enjoy it. Downey makes me happy. Seeing him rock this role is just to me a lil mini celebration that despite all of the craze in his personal life he is still capable of being someone else. When he was on screen he was Tony Stark, seriously, no other roles crossed my mind, he was just Stark. I appreciate that from a guy I've seen be so many different men. Especially considering his role in the previous movie.

The Case Sci Fi Marathon - is what I've been writing about. You know I'm all about you joining me next year (just a heads up). The more people, the more fun, I just dig it.



Meatballs almost gone - first hit of Airborne taken - First bottle of water drinking - YUM

The Mouse on the Moon - was amusing - very amusing
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure - was fun to watch after so long - many laughs
Star Trek: Nemesis - I slept thru 3/4 of it -mmm hot food in belly - though Patrick Stewart is fucking hot
Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan - we really needed that - I think w/the death this week we all needed to join Kirk screaming "Khan" just to get it out of our system - very cathartic

more later...

Marathon so far

Safely tucked in - meatballs simmering - warming on an air mattress w/ Froggy & Tyger - 
Jumper -sucked the first time & still sucks
Die Monster Die - was lovely & old & Boris Karloff = yay
Timeline - Gerard Butler - Nuff said- what wait - Bill Connolly - yum
A Boy & His Dog - I hate the movie - I think the thing that rubs me the wrong way is the casual rape - the constant casual rape - cuz u know we just exist to be fucked.
Fire Maidens from Outer Space - FUN & funny old school 
Universal Soldier - I fucking slept thru this garbage
Spy Kids 2 - I heart Ricardo Montalban & the use of Danny Trejo as Q makes me pure joi

More later - just nibblets as I go.


Fuck me

Did I miss a memo?


very sad - The Prisoner has left us.

I have no idea what he is going to say or even if he knows yet - but I leave the eloquence to Toby.  


my friend

The one with the breast cancer is back in the hospital - could use your best love & thoughts right now.  Her white cells took a header over New Years.  This is me worried.


White Russians

Make me smile

Still snowed in

I guess at this point I could try to clear the car & go - but where could I go?

So in I stay until tomorrow.  I want delicious things - I think pancakes in the morning.

A love letter to a love letter to alternative culture

There is so much in this world that makes me unhappy.  Coilhouse brings me joi.  Issue 02 is here and I am finally reading it.  & by reading what I mean is I'm putting on some Tricky and allowing myself to slide thru the pages, like my OhMiBod sliding in well lubed with the perfect songs playing.  Just the right rhythms.  The quality of the paper, the rounded edges, the stunning images, the excellent writing.  I love it so much.  Seriously find the magazine, read the site, and enjoy the simple things that make me happy.

Snowed in

Yes, beloved friends, I am snowed in.  I have food & booze & movies, but I am all alone - Seriously, one of these days I will get to be snowed in with someone I can spend all day keeping warm in the bed in the sexe ways.  I want that.  the snow is knee deep outside.  I am watching Black Books & giggling.  & have now decided to accept my fate & catch up on here. Oi.


Dear History Bois

I don't rock the historical research, but it dawned on me in the shower tonight that in my hatred of Ratzinger perhaps there is a correlation between the Nazi rhetoric regarding homosexuals & the utter garbage spewing forth from him lately.  I'm just curious.  I'm not suggesting that he is anti-Semitic, just that perhaps he's using some of the same language.  Sort it for me or I will eventually follow it myself.  

Random shower thoughts.

I slept from 1900 til 1130 & I'm back to bed in another 5 mins.  Tomorrow will be a long day and so will Wednesday but  - oh joi - MLK Day I am going in at noon - so recovery from Marathon will be allowed.  


Fuck you

Fuck you loud neighbor

I hope you die

I hope the next time you have a migraine some fucking kid parks his car at full volume outside the building - & keeps coming back

I hope you know how it feels to be here - sitting awake trying to sleep & needing rest & relax & just not fucking getting it.

I hate you loud neighbor & shitty kids - I hope that you all move out & are replaced by a lil old lady who does everything quietly


full blast air filter going, ear plugs in & i can still fucking hear you after asking you to be quieter 2x.  

If I can cross you any way, I bless myself every way.



So much going on

Last night - possibly best NYE ever - least in a reallly long time

notsomuch drinking but good people - thank you so much Froggy & Tyger for hosting & inviting me & laughter & sharing & conversation, good talk.

i feel good

brunch @ Mangos today w/ Alicia & Nevin = perfekt