Weakness is not desired here. I do not wish to surround myself with cowards. I hate that it takes so long for people to show their tru colors. I wish everyone had warning signs. Or somewhere you could go see that when push comes to shove comes to bowling you over they will skip out. They will leave you standing alone. Because you stand, you don't know any other way. For all of the "bending like water" you stand. I hate getting kicked in the gut, stomped on by life, by the garbage, by my fears, by my insecurities, and looking up and finding myself alone. I swear I wasn't when things came up, but now I am.

I didn't write this today. I wrote it a while back - & heard a name scurry across my iChat and remembered a coward and remembered starting to write something...

So I figured I would write more today.

I'm not her. I don't start fights w/ boifriends for no reason. I am not radiation when I argue - I do not fester the wound in a relationship and expect things to be ok. I am strong enough to be alone.


derek said...

Not to sound depressing but there is always tomorrow.

Jezcabelle said...

Yes, Scarlett, "& tomorrow is another day..."

& Billy boi, "tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps on this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time..."

Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed, just frustrated - as usual...