I'm still

going to Columbus.

I am not leaving the things that I love.

I am not punishing myself for this.
I am worth more than that.

Even if i were a man this would be a fair representation...

She rocks the party that rocks the party...

I love my Katelynn and her art.

Go, support her new showing at the Studio of the 5 Rings (SO5R) - WooHoo!!
November 16 thru January 5, I'd recommend one of the private tastings, & the wine is fantastic!!

Add me to the list

These are fucking brilliant...

The fuck you say...

Originally posted 19, 9, 2007 @ 6:20pm Proof once again that there is so little decency left in the world that a "Superflu" is a good idea...

I find it hysterical that I am so offended by this and no less than 3 of the blogs i regularly read have addressed it in the last 24 hrs. Also by people who were highly offended by it.

YAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

A terrible thought..

"A terrible thought has moved into my mind, I do not want it gets me drunk on wine; it feeds on my happiness and won’t pay the rent, I must take proper measures to evict
A terrible thought has moved into my mind, a giant rat that’s nibbling on my pride
It’s wearing away my patience and my wit
I must take proper measures, set a trap for it"


I am better, kinda
Food stayed down, I am not of the “lost her damned mind” category, it was more of the fucking shocked to Hell for a night.


I am in love w/ the SMODcast – and I have now entered the 8th level of hell by blogging about a podcast. I suck.

smart

the ruling not the woman or the doctor she sued...

just bright & smart for a change.

so...

have i mentioned how much i hate puking.

i ate. mashed potatoes - simple, not even spicy
I had it down for 20 mins.

mmmmmm uglier on the way back up.
I'm not ok
I will be
i hate being stoopid
i hate admitting stoopid moves
i hate these moments
They will not be over soon
It is terrifying this next move, stage of things...

"Those little things that keep me going are no longer any good for me"
"Those little things"

Maybe embarassing is more the problem as my face reddens at the thought of disclosing everything. So I won't - I'll make cryptic comments, offering up a play-by-play of the effects on me, rather of me.

exquisite joi and pain. I am loved, I am cared for even as the stoopid parts are revealed. Even as the shame rears it's ugly head in my voice.

I'm gonna lay down, & try not to feel like a little bitty worm on a big fucking hook.

Sucks

Long story
I'm taking donations...

Fucking hysterical

Who else thinks this is hysterical???
Go to www.careercruising.com
Log in with Username: nycareers, Password: landmark
Take the "Career Matchmaking" questionnaire

1.Physical Therapy Assistant
2.Fitness Instructor
3.Athletic Trainer
4.Coach
5.Public Health Nurse
6.Chiropractor
7.Personal Trainer
8.Environmental Consultant
9.Occupational Therapist
10.Massage Therapist
11.Physical Therapist
12.Neurologist
13.Environmental Engineer
14.Kinesiologist
15.Audiologist
16.Dental Hygienist
17.Surgeon
18.Plastic Surgeon
19.Taxidermist

When I say...

Ugly bitches, I really meant it.

Grow the fuck up

and consider everything about your children - yes, this is going to be hard. they will suck out your soul. you have to think of everything. SUCK IT UP

and could someone show me one incident of crocs getting an adult's foot caught in an escalator

take the fucking stairs or put your kids in shoes that give them some support for their growing feet and stabilization for their movements.

I'm off to see the Ani...

the wonderful Ani of love, and Melissa Ferrick - I am so excited - w/ some of my girls.


YAY!!!

Pray for me

Cross ur damned fingers - my interview is this morning.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED THIS TO CHANGE. I NEED THINGS TO GET BETTER. I NEED.

me

I'm watching you....

& since I am comin' off the narcs, "my bowels are looser than a Catholic womb."

I spent last night at Johnny Mango's for my birthday. If my father were still alive he and my mother would have been married for 34 years yesterday. Today I am 30 years old and the changes in my life since last year have been significant. I loved being surrounded by my friends last night, I loved being in their arms and seeing their smiling faces. I was honored with a delicious red velvet cake with cream cheese icing, and the presence of Kerry, Nevin, Jeff, Becca, Justin, Ira, Rebecca, Toby, Meghan, and Joe. I'm getting my heart, an iPod - dunno specs on it, kinda don't care - just excited to start playing with it - entering the age of mp3 players as I stare at the 17+ year old boombox that has served as my surrogate stereo and DJ booth respectively during this time, both yet to be delivered. Among the other gifts were an OhMiBod so completely unexpected, it had apparently been back-ordered for 6 wks - cause I am the luckiest girl in the world, with the best boifriend/lover ever - I'll spare my beloved readers the details, but know that this Stella has had her groove handed back to her on a gilded pillow. Several Stephen King books (thank u guys, I can't wait to start reading them, I have to finish "Power, Sex, & Suicide: Mitochondria and the secret meaning of life" first). Nevin gave me The Avenging Unicorn playset wrapped in recycled x-mas paper done up w/ Charlie quotes & pic - topping the best wrapped gift category (it makes me laugh sooo hard). Which was a wise choice - I think the Avenging Narwhal might have made Becca cry. I sat up after we got home yesterday crying while I read the book that Rebecca made for me. I love you so much, thank you for sharing that with me, I know it will keep me warm on the nights ahead, just like our love has brought us both strength in the past.

As to the rest of me, I have Vicodin in my system, TENS unit on my back, and leftover Red Threat in my belly. I am craving pancakes & waiting on the pain to go away.

I'm so happy that I can't stop crying.Thank you.

Death of a storyteller...

Madeleine L'Engle has joined the ranks of those which passed before. And the world will be decidedly less without her in it. I remember discovering the "Wrinkle" when I was very young, and I now sit in the blissful joi that I was lucky enough to have enjoyed her in her lifetime.
Shed a tear my friends and gather close to keep eachother warm and perhaps to share our dreams. With luck there will be a dark and stormy night this weekend and we can drink to her ourselves.

So....

Isn't it a possibility, just a tiny one. That is would be a better idea to simply carry on the family name thru the female children than the male? After all there is never a doubt which womb a child popped out of. Husbands can take their wife's name and so on... Isn't this a better option than killing or mutilating the female offspring just because they aren't male?

I'm just sayin... The end of the patriarch is not the end of the world, just a change. Change being a good thing, rather than this stagnant existence of insanity expecting different results while living the same lives day in and day out. As these days drag on Aeon Flux seems like a better and better idea. Or maybe I am just on a feminista kick right now, my ovaries are churning, and my attack womb is set to kill. How much power have we given up, and what are we willing to do to reclaim it?

'bout goddamned time...

It has taken how long for someone to stand up & say, "no."

My orders...

"You must act as the righteous hand of justice in the land of cleve in my absence."

-Toby

What have I gotten myself into and why and I a superhero all of a sudden?

Why? tell me why?

{click on the pic for link to the artist}

Why attack Planned Parenthood?

Ok, I get the whole "sanctity of life" ideology, but there is so much more to Planned Parenthood than that. If you buy into that ideology then you might not want to support it, but why try to deny access to others who don't share your views?

why attack women who are trying to take care of their bodies in this age of medical horrors, where one suffers adn dies in silence every day because the cervical cancer goes undiagnosed because they can't afford healthcare or insurance, so they never get checked out. If you want non-abortion options with the same medical care then open a clinic and offer it, but demonizing women for exercising their legal options, for choosing how they choose to proceed with their personal health choices is beyond me.

It makes me wonder about the burning times, since this was one of the things you would go to your local "wise woman" to take care of...

And then you get into the card carrying hypocrites who support killing babies overseas in the war, but god forbid a baby here die. There is nothing ass foolish to me as seeing a car with pro Bush stickers & pro-life stickers. And yet here we are in 2007 still fighting the coat hangers.

To learn and decide for yourself check here. I personally used Planned Parenthood in those hazy years post-parental health insurance/pre-my own health insurance, I was charged on a sliding scale (I was poor, read that as very poor) and I was able to get my pap smears, and make sure if nothing else my innards were in working order. If they had not been available to me, I do not know what I would have done for healthcare at that time. I have stood as a volunteer walking women in through protesting crowds, in a bright orange vest, to stand as strength and help assure safety. I have gone with friends to appointments for contraceptives, regular appointments, and abortions. I have held hands, dried tears, and offered any other comfort in my power.

I am not pro-abortion, but I am solidly against legislating or interfering in anyone else's personal healthcare choices. I have never seen an "easy" abortion, it is not a light decision, but I believe every woman has the right to decide which eggs she grows to term.

like this...

I'm going to Columbus...

Who's coming with me?

Yep, those burning times...

sure are over.

Why is it with the spread of Christianity there is an almost insatiable need to persecute women. Old women, what the hell?

I'm just sayin...

Sad

Sad, his voice will be missed, I take great comfort in the fact that Luciano Pavarotti lived in a time of recorded sound. I'll be falling asleep to his voice tonight...

YAY - so little time til I'm 30

It has just been a rough week - I want to take a 30 hr nap.

cause god forbid

that things actually get done.

God forbid disasters be handled by people who show up to handle them, and FEMA can totally make good decisions. And I love the part about how the private citizens would be welcome a few days into the disaster... cause by then things will be under "control" and there will be less people to help cause more will be dead.

fucking stupid.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

6 days til my birthday...

Pres of Porn

this made me smile: after the Bush Library reportedly backed out of a portrait they'd commissioned from Jonathon Yeo. He decided to finish a piece anyway. The portrait, created from fragments of 100 porn magazines, resides at Lazarides Gallery in London, and debuted yesterday.


Oh such the penis breath in such an non-good way.

I heart it

& would wear it every day.

I wanna walk thru it

seriously.

is that wrong?

or just Halloween getting closer?

Sad

More death

Turning of the wheel, mostly just affects us on the rim...

Hope?

Cause this is pretty fuckin cool...

What the HELL!?!?!?!

tell me this is a lie

tell me i am not living in the dystopian future that in my youth i would lie awake at night terrified of.

tell me, please

Circles of my life...

***Side note before the main event - This morning at work I had 3 patients who showed up at 8am. 2 were scheduled at 8am and one was scheduled at 830am. Now the 2 who were scheduled to be there were perfectly behaved, and ready to get on with therapy. They both had good histories of showing up to their appts on time. The one scheduled at 830am was a noxious lil jerk, as if we were eating his time to keep him there. This particular patient had scheduled for treatment months ago, and never showed up. He then rescheduled with us after things didn't magically get better on their own. He no shows (mark that, no shows - doesn't even bother to call to cancel) at least once a week. And when we do get a hold of him he won't reschedule. This jerk sat thru his therapy all morning, doing the very bare minimum to get through. He impatiently sighed every time we weren't jumping all over him with his next exercise and when we tried to load him up with exercises to do so he wouldn't run out, he acted like we were making him wait again after the first thing we had told him to do. My problem is that he showed up early by a half of an hour, and we got him in and started immediately, we worked him in to the mix even though he was not scheduled to be there yet and he still was a jerk. If you go to an MD's ofc that early you wait, and you wait some more. The man couldn't be patient with or appreciative of our efforts, just pisses me off.***



OK so the tru purpose of things, I had the pleasure of going to the east side last night and meeting some lovely people and eating fantastic homemade food and drinking my mojitos (yum) and making a lil $$ working on some of them, and I loved it. I am a lil tired today (I didn't get home til after midnight after going there straight after working an 11 hour day). But this morning I felt more relaxed than I have in forever in the middle of the week. I loved feeling like I could breathe as I headed out to work. I have been skipping the Tuesdays out for a number of reasons, most of which boil down to feeling overstressed and like crap. I think maybe that should change and I should return to breathing a lil more.

Quandry of the day...

Do you tell the docs what the prisoners did to land them in jail? On one hand it could prevent doctors from prescribing Viagra to pedophiles before their early release. On the other hand as a human being how hard would it be to continue preserving the life of individuals who commit horrific crimes.

hmmmmmmmm....


{the first person who makes a derogatory comment about the example being French gets my foot up their ass.}

Sweet...

I fucking mean it when I say I am being stretched to the limit.

OK, she looks like a floozy, but damned...

I've run up some wicked-assed bills in my day, but this is ridiculous...

I am picking a new future

I am open to suggestions.

In the last 5 years I have worked for Center For Integrated Therapies - which still owes me money for services rendered in good faith over a year ago. N-----re which has come to define underemployment and dead-end job for me - might be different for others, but for myself only a fraction of my skills are being utilized there, and there is no room for advancement right now. American Chiro & PT - which by and large was a good learning experience. The salaries have varied, and the time has flown. It is time to sort out a new destiny.

The assorted odds & ends I have picked up in between times have been enjoyable. I know what I love and what is intolerable.

Any thoughts, comments, screams, whispers, feelings, bellybuttons on the matter would be welcome at this point.

I'm about - I've been accepted at all of the local community colleges and my resumes are refurbished.

"I'm an octopus, I'll kick ur ass..."

Oh the birthday jois!!!
Jen & Kerry had very good times respectively (I hope). I am so happy it went off without too many hitches. I loved meeting a few new people, & spending more time with the friends and the man I love. "the man I love" sweet goddess it is terrifying to watch myself type that. But it just flows out my fingertips as I see him in my mind's eye.

Studio of the 5 Rings was brilliant for the wine tasting, and it was a wonderful experience. Their California juice based wines were delightful, I can't hardly wait for their new batch this fall made with Chilean juices. I promise that we will be going again - perhaps for another special occasion, or just something wonderful to share with friends. The art was inspiring and made for a perfect environment. I would love to see Katelynn's work on the walls.

The surprise went not entirely as planned, but there was love, & that is all I ever ask for.

There are groceries in my kitchen, Korean terror on my tv, and I'm cleaning my living room. Life is perfect.

Does this mean I'm evil?

Your Score: Glorificus

72% amorality, 72% passion, 81% spirituality, 36% selflessness

You probably have a complicated, multi-faceted personality. Kind of like Glory-Ben-Glorificus.



Passionate and driven with a spiritual side that comes out at times, a healthy taste for the finer things in life and a willingness to do what's necessary to achieve your ends. You're assertive and have no problems standing up for yourself.
And, push come to shove, you're the closest anyone's ever come to straight-up beating the Slayer and her gang.

The Buffy 4 variable Personality Test

Congratulations!

OK, I rock...

Your Score: GAMBIT

The one guy who EVERYONE wanted to see in the movies! Gambit just kicks ass. If he can't obliterate someone by chucking kinetically charged cards at them, he can beat them to death with his quarterstaff. AND he's a pimp. So what are you doing on this site, anyway? Shouldn't you be out stomping people's shit in right now?

Link: The Which X-Man Are You Test written by alexium on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I no longer need to cook...

It is sooo hot & humid in here, that I swear if I put eggs out on the counter & come back 10 mins later, they will have soft boiled themselves. The cats & I are crowded around the AC unit. I would kill for some Starbucks Caramel Cappuchino Ice Cream right now...

I HATE WORK

OH YEAH & PAIN, LOTS OF PAIN.

My world...

OK, I went home this weekend (pics to follow shortly) and my niece (Reese) was baptized - It was perfect, Fr Mel Verhoff is now the pastor at Delphos, St Johns: I worked with him extensively when he was head of Toledo Diocese Catholic Youth and School Services. He was, and can only presume still is, a really great guy. I loved seeing everyone, all of my family and spending time with my nieces - Reese sleeping and playing with Rylee. Kerry met my family and my family really enjoyed him.

We also stopped to see Chris and Brenda, Trae and Meca, and the kids. It was so good to see them again. I want to have some kind of gathering together at my place or somewhere out there just to spend an entire afternoon together.


In other news: I am in a lot of pain and the drugs are working (thank Goddess) Although the hormonal shifts have me weeping quite a bit right now. I'm trying to just chill and get my world in order.


In totally unrelated news: What the FUCK is going on w/ the Dems in congress acting like a bunch of fucking pansies and letting them pass the revision of the FISA - go look it up if you don't know what I am talking about - I'm too pissed to add a link right now. FUCK - seriously, am I the only one who sees the destruction of the checks and balances system crumbling in front of me?

We, presuming there are people reading this, need to do something about this insanity.
Right now I am open to real suggestions. I just feel overwhelmed, and I do not have the answers...

This waste of oxygen...

is the man who is the primary sponsor of House Bill 287.

And when I meet someone who actually voted to put him in office, we are gonna have such interesting words.

Fuck me, this is disgusting...

AND MUST BE STOPPED.

House Bill 287

"Section 1. That section 2919.124 of the Revised Code be enacted to read as follows:

Sec. 2919.124. (A) As used in this section, "viable" has the same meaning as in section 2901.01 of the Revised Code.

(B)(1) When the fetus that is the subject of the procedure is viable, no person shall perform or induce an abortion on a pregnant woman without the written informed consent of the father of the fetus.

(2) When the fetus that is the subject of the procedure is not viable, no person shall perform or induce an abortion on a pregnant woman without the written informed consent of the father of the fetus.

(C)(1) A pregnant woman seeking to abort her pregnancy shall provide, in writing, the identity of the father of the fetus to the person who is to perform or induce the abortion.
(2) No pregnant woman seeking to abort her pregnancy shall fail to comply with division (B)(1) of this section.
(3) No pregnant woman seeking to abort her pregnancy shall provide to the person who is to perform or induce the abortion the identity of a man as the father of the fetus if the man is not the father of the fetus.

(D) No man shall give a consent pursuant to division (B)(1) or (2) of this section as the father of the fetus if the man knows that he is not the father of the fetus.

(E) No person shall cause a man to believe that the man is the father of a fetus for the purpose of obtaining the consent required by division (B)(1) or (2) of this section, if the person knows that the man is not the father of the fetus.

(F) If, pursuant to division (C)(1) of this section, the pregnant woman identifies two or more men as possible fathers of the fetus, the person who is to perform or induce the abortion shall perform a paternity test, or cause a paternity test to be performed, to determine the father of the fetus prior to accepting any consent required under division (B)(1) or (2) of this section and prior to performing or inducing an abortion of the pregnant woman's pregnancy. No person shall perform or induce an abortion in violation of this division.

(G) It is not a defense to a violation of division (B)(1) or (2) or (C)(2) of this section that the woman does not know the identity of the father of the fetus.

(H)(1) Divisions (B)(1) and (2) of this section do not apply if the pregnant woman provides to the person who is to perform or induce the abortion either of the following:
(a) A copy of a police report or a complaint, indictment, information, or other court document that gives the person who is to perform or induce the abortion reasonable cause to believe that the woman became pregnant as the result of rape or incest.
(b) A copy of a paternity test that gives the person who is to perform or induce the abortion reasonable cause to believe that the woman became pregnant as the result of incest.
(2) This section does not apply if the abortion is necessary, in appropriate medical judgment, to preserve the life or the health of the pregnant woman.

(I) The written consent required under division (B)(1) or (2) of this section and the written identification required in division (C)(1) of this section are confidential, are not public records under section 149.43 of the Revised Code, and shall be viewed only by the pregnant woman, the man claiming to be or the man identified as being the father of the fetus, the person who is to perform or induce the abortion, any law enforcement officer investigating a violation of this section, and a court and jury in a criminal case involving an alleged violation of this section.

(J) Whoever violates this section is guilty of abortion fraud, a misdemeanor of the first degree. If the person previously has pleaded guilty to or has been convicted of a violation of this section, abortion fraud is a felony of the fifth degree."

How is this happening? How is this even an option?

Ladies stock up on your Black Cohosh and get ready for the back rooms and pain and silence again as the state once again invades our bedrooms.

I have more to say about this. But I need to form it all into words in some semblance of order before allowing it to spew it up on the page.

Oh my Goddess

I got flowers today at work. Delivered to me at the office that I did not want to be at, taking care of too many patients. From the man I love - cause he wanted to send them. And then I found this, I love this song and I love VAST. this made my day better. I feel so blessed/lucky/whatever you want to choose to word it...

Happy Lughnasadh

Enjoy the fruits of our labors...