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31.5.08

Still waiting


I waited last night for the storm then slept through it. I had strange dreams, soft warm, safe dreams. Featuring an old friend of mine that I haven't seen in forever. I woke up slowly from a pair of arms in my dream that I felt safe in, I kept kissing the pillow (his chest) & trying to stay there. I've been wondering all day if I should call him - or try to track him down. It was very lucid in my dreams. The other sections of dreaming was basic familial relations right now. Lil stress, lil crazed.

The leaves have been turning all day - more rain on the way. I've got the windows open, and I really wish I were out in the woods with friends to dance naked in it. I don't think I have many friends like that anymore. This is the part where I miss the poets. I realize what happened - most of them still smoke, something, and are so "hardcore" in their views that the idea of "changing for society" is just "not their thing". So somewhere along the way I walked away. Choices that I cannot stand by, are just that. I miss community, for love, sex, magic, and even simple camaraderie. I value the friends that aren't too busy reacting to society to take responsibility for themselves & their actions.

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