Rough week

I am a wreck - on the upside gua sha was done to my upper back in the midst of my acupuncture today so the pic is one i found that shows what my back looks like - it feels bruised but looser - I'm emotionally drained & weeping bits & pieces. I'm hoping this weekend will be renewing & fun - I need some human love, companionship. I need to not be alone for a while. Though my lower back still feels better from just the acupuncture this afternoon - yay.

I can't talk about all things going on right now - but let me just say that it is a lot & I can't wait to brunch on Monday w/ Jules & Kate. mmmm margaritas of love.

I don't know how

But I've lived 5 years without my father in this world.  Wow.

Today has been rough.  No great insights to share.  Just hurting coming to the surface, random tears, and a desire to not sleep alone tonight.  I undoubtedly will, but the desire is present, I want to be held & hear the storms rip through as I drift off.  No sex just a body to hold me close.  No probing, no kisses, just comfort in the caress of other flesh.

Lame, I know

I just laid back, & my entire lower back just cracked, deep vertebral popping, a realigning of things, the jumbling of bones so close to my spine caused a lovely release of endorphins.  Wow, I know it was my lower back, but I can breathe better, deep lovely breaths.  I woke up today with my face planted in my pillow and my neck twisted back at a jacked up angle (I swear I am trying to strangle myself in my sleep).  My lovely dowager's hump (C6ish) is thick & hateful - my money says that waking up like this is increasing the congestion there by smashing the blood vessels.

Someone

needs to make an ice cream that is called Sweet Pea Wasabi & the flavor needs to be a sweet mint/pea mash w/ undertones of a wasabi heat.  I think it would be delightful.  In fact I think it is long overdue - the flavor profile is obvious...

I'm just sayin...

Fuck NBC

I know that we are stuck with them for Olympic coverage.  I sat with family on Friday night 8.8.08 and I loved spending time with them.  I'll speak on that later - watching the opening ceremony was breathtaking & as a grown up I know about the time difference & the fact that it had happened almost a day earlier.  I know that it was NOT live television.  I am pissed that as I watched it struck me that something was wrong - shots of the infield were instantaneously different, one sec full the next empty, then full again.  On the broadcast the US walked in 3rd to last.  In reality they walked in 139th.  Commercials were brand new, saved for the event.  The ridiculously lame announcers constantly stated the reasons for the non-alphabetical order.  I'm just pissed that they then used the excuse to further fuck with the order.  I know, I know I'm elitist scum, I am far more interested in reality.  I think half the point to the games for me is reality.  The Russian and Georgian shooters hugging, the breaking of records, the beauty of seeing the things the human body is capable of achieving.  The broadcast of the opening ceremonies was awesome artistically; just breathtaking.  

Fuck you NBC for lying to me.  Fuck you for lying to make money.  Fuck you for lying to everyone else too.  I'm not a lot but I won't be spending my money on anyone I catch advertising on you.  So fuck you.

Why I am still up...

23:31 I saw it.  The US mens 400m free relay demolish the world record & secure the gold.  Started by Phelps with a recordbreaking split.  I just stopped screaming - it was tight.  If I find a link I'll post it - but you should go look - it was decided by .08 of a second.  400m of freestyle in 3:08:24.  Mull that over for a bit.  

I'll give you time...

OK - seriously go watch the finish.  & time yourself 3:08:24 was all it took for those 4 men to swim 400m.  Consider it for a while.  Poetry in motion.  & Phelps sits w/ his 8th Olympic gold medal.  I say he nails at least a career total of 12 by the end of Beijing.  

*and I know the pic is of Phelps in the fly, but it is so beautiful to watch him swim that.

Stupid motherfuckers

Read this. Read it & tell me where the problem is. Is it the open door? Is it the outrage of the couple? Is it the using the dog as bait to just destroy the cat?

The destruction of the cat is a travesty. The stupid motherfuckers who left a door, A DOOR, NOT A WINDOW BUT FRENCH DOORS, wide open as they slept are to blame. The cat did nothing wrong. Just helped itself to some food. Just because the food was a family pet that the family left completely unprotected is not the cat's fault.

STUPID FUCKING PUNY HUMANS MUST DIE.

Oh the truth of us

I'll spare you details but I finally watched the Dr Who finale today. Umm... Oh my. I love the Dr. This will not change but i now fully accept that I will love the series & want to kill over the finales. It is as simple as the rest of my loves. Eccleston over Tennant, Martha over any of the rest of the companions & Capt Jack over all of them. I love John Barrowman. All I can safely say is that I hated the things they did. REALLY HATED THEM. Finale made me want to cut the cheek of every writer & person who oked the finale. So all will know that they fucked up & should never be allowed to work in tv again.

***Ira et al: write a new comment if you want me to post it - I've carefully avoided spoilers in the post & I need you to do the same in the comments right now.

-Love you.