FUCK U 2007

Bring it on 2008. Bring it the fuck on.

Gotten

The job I wanted for the $ I wanted.

Fuck yeah!

I'm rockin out to a lil Night Ranger (Sister Christian - oh the many reasons it is so appropriate)

I'm drinkin Caramel White Russians & in for the night.

Fucking hell this was needed.



"I'll be in my bunk..."

YAY!!!

Wes showed up at my doorstep tonight. He's showering now. We are settling in to watch Balls of Fury - the pingpong movie w/ Christopher Walken. Mostly I am just pleased that someone will be working on my back - ok I get a rubdown & I am joi. He even came bearing gifts: Grey Goose & the most awesome Caribbean popsicles (full of delicious fruit chunks, mango, passionfruit, etc...)

Old friends need to suprise me more often w/ visits.

WOW

It finally happened: All due reverence to Jon and company if he even reads this.

I have been verbally assaulted by a Libertarian. A self professed Libertarian tried to change my mind about politics. For the first time ever I was approached by a man whose dedication to the conversion was on par with evangelical Christian fundamentalists. His personal mores were more on par with the Republican party than the Libertarian. It was funny as Hell. Mostly because he freely stated that he was trying to change my mind. Ridiculous.

I'm sorry Jon but if that is the sort of thing the party is turning out these days I am sorely disappointed.

I've, prior to this, always enjoy intelligent discussion with members of that party. Maybe he was an exception. Either way definitely not a candidate for a Bachelor of 2008.

Ahhhh life

The jois & silly

I should have a job offer by Monday.

I had the car looked at today - she is fine (the air pressure lights were on and the check engine light was on - but she is fine). & the dealership did not charge me for the visit. How awesome is that.

I love that we had codewords with my parents so we would always know which friendly adults were really friendlies and not evil malevolent strangers.


DiFranco is curled up next to me.

& there is a new cocktail at Mangos that I love & has the potential to be the reason for many a good time.

I loved Sweeney Todd

& buttery popcorn & faux-Dr Pepper. With the company of Jesse & Aaron(sp?) - Just lovely. I needed that. It brought me joi. I am back @ home stripped down, curled up in bed. Safely awaiting sleep til work tomorrow. Should be fun. Please the goddess a short week.

Oi - now to sort out New Year's

Thought on X-mas Eve alone in the box

I caught the first 10 mins of "Bewitched" & Michael Caine had some brilliant words of wisdom: "I love you is something you say to the one you'd like to go home with at the end of the night, when things get messy you simply say you don't love them anymore."

Oh my, how tru were those words.

How shockingly easy it is for some people to utter the words I love you - even though they have no feelings behind it. They are just empty words.

This is where I harp about how much I hate liars. Men who lie to me in particular. Cowards who wait until 6 months in to let you know that they never loved you to begin with.

I'm not bitter, just hurt. It'll pass - I think it has more to do with my niece asking about Kerry this weekend. And all of the things that I am not allowed to tell her that have nothing to do with him. I have such a hard time denying truth to the little ones.

ON THE FLIP SIDE:

I am acquiring through perfectly legit means a glass heart necklace. The Gaia version with the drop of blue/green glass in the center. With the outer glass clear it is still anatomically correct & gorgeous. Happy Solstice to me.

I am not unhappy.

I am eating xmas leftovers from this weekend. Watching xmas movies - thanks Nevin. Soaking my feetsies in the footbath - thanks Liz. Before moving on to the paraffin bath - thanks Jeff. Drinking rum that was left here - thanks Kerry.

& I have found company to go with me to Sweeney Todd tomorrow - I can't wait. So much fun.

THANK YOU!!!

Oh Jeff, & Rebecca if you're reading this let him know I wrote it: THANK YOU!!!

Y?!? - you're asking yourself right now

BECAUSE of the paraffin bath.

It is melting right now and when it is finished I will be dipping my feetsies. I am so happy. It is the first time that I am breaking it out this year.

THANK YOU!!!!!

thought Obi still hates it cause she got to close & got paraffin on her nose last year - silly cat - I bet she wishes she was back in the cage.

Safe inside

tucked away from the snow. I am curled around a cup of chai, doing my usual Sunday morning read thru - I even saved the "Asshole Fuckface Roundup" for now. Obi is curled up beside me purring. I am watching Shrek the Third & loving it. I will however be putting on many many layers later to go outside and wipe off the car at least once so it is not as hard to do tomorrow morning. I keep hoping that the man/creature who is supposed to clear the drive actually does so before I have to leave tomorrow. Grrrrrrrrrrr - only happy now. Much happy & warm & safe now.

RAGE

The story is long & simple. I am not at liberty to tell it freely.

I am full of righteous rage.

Many feelings of love & peace have been replaced by hatred, clear and deep.

"Heaven knows no fury as that of love to hatred turn'd..."

& no, this has nothing to do w/ Kerry - I'm not mad at him. He is a non-issue.

I like

a boi.

I'm just sayin... Makes me smile.

Blog for smarties?

Hurt

One of my patients died over the weekend. I found out this morning at work. She was one of my lymphedema post-op mastectomy patients. She was actively on chemo the entire time that she was under my care. Her husband was amazing – with her every visit – sitting by her side at her beck and call. He was right with her up to the end – least that is what I have been told, and I can’t picture it any other way. I heart her and him and it makes me sad. I am sad. I wish it was not so, but I know she is out of pain. And that tactile side of me misses her skin. This lil old lady w/ skin like warm oiled tissue paper. Soft and smooth, silky and so delicate – her arteries and veins pulsing underneath as I worked on her. I fixate on such things as I am working. I loosened the scar tissue around her initial surgical scars, helped the edema (swelling – only more complicated than that), and touched her – which sounds like nothing in the outside world, but once you’re in that position and you have been fighting breast cancer and lung cancer for many years, actively fighting it, it is a good thing just to be touched by soft hands. I have very soft hands. Over a thousand bodies a year pass under these hands for treatment. I am going on with my week, but I needed to take a moment and express the pain of loss for a moment.

When I am around patients in active treatment for things like that it reminds me of the true meaning of the phrase, “What fresh Hell is this?” There is no better way to describe navigating the complex system of western medicine and the insanities of cancers that remit, grow, metastasize, shrink, die, and/or kill you without reason or malice. It is not personal.

There are those that believe that it is all based in the head of the patient. I want to say yes, I want to believe that too, but I can’t. I just can’t. It is just another mutation, I have my own theories about that. Not everyone can be Gambit or Wolverine, absorb a twin in the womb or be born with lobster claws, sometimes we have to have cancer instead.

I can't rationalize putting this insidious creation on my site, but I can justify sending you to it.

I don't understand how people like this exist. Referring to the people in the video. I agree w/ Ellis overall, but then I do that sometimes. The end is, as he says, pure evil.

I accept that they must exist. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction - in order for the great love and humanity to exist there must also be this travesty of hatred.