Dirty little secrets

I haven't shaved my legs in almost 2 months.

I miss falling asleep to a heartbeat that isn't mine.

I feel like I was whored out by my employer today to schmooz some docs and their ofc workers because I was cornered into providing FREE 5 mins massages for them. It made me feel like a stripper sitting with the business men at my feet; only she is better paid than I was.

I'm cold and I can't seem to get warm tonight.

I'm afraid that my old cat is forcing my new cat to spend all his time hiding from her.

This weekend I was unceremoniously "dumped" for no reason by the guy I've been "dating" for less than 2 months.
I had my phone reset before he tore out of his parking spot in front of my building.
I was happy that I wouldn't ever again have to ask him not to sit on my pillow.
Or ever again hear about how much he hates cats as he would sit petting them.

If you can put 3 and 4 together and get 12, you know the other aspect of my dirty little secret.
Congrats. I'm giggling, and I hope you are too.