Traipsing barefoot across the coals...

The first thing I notice are the jokes.  After the event is over and they've chosen not to attend, not to risk the walk, not to risk the fire, not to risk anything.  The twittering jokes, "careful where you step", "How's that pedicure?", "heeheehee...".  I smile, take the prodding, fighting the urge to just walk away.  I know that the joking is the curiosity, the first steps of the wanting to understand, the desire for more information.

I'm not feeling like a teacher these days.  I am, in fact, actively against offering anything that I have or that I possess to anyone in the world.  With the exception of paid services.  I'm still a healer for hire, I'm still more interested in healing loved ones than getting paid for it.  I'm also not interested in growing that list of loved ones.  I'm not interested in offering anything to anyone which might give them a reason to falsify emotions for me.  I'm done being lied to for the things that my friendship offers.  Until I am satisfied I am offering nothing.  My friendship is worth nothing.  No insights, no drama, no trust, no invites, no introductions, no home, no safe warm place in the shelter of my will.