Breaking bread

I'm at a peace. Calmness rules my internal structure. I have no overwhelming needs/wants that aren't being met. I have no emotional pain/stress, I have some physical pain but it is as handled as possible. Obi is cuddled in close, Hogfather is on the tele, plum wine in my glass, and I feel at rest in the universe. I could use a week of solitude and silence - but that is going to wait for a vaca later this year. An hour in a sensory dep chamber is just not enough to make up for the too much noise that I am surrounded by. Noises...

Thanksgiving brought about a really interesting talk about Misophonia. I suffer from this - in case you have missed my ranting about the desire to vomit or kill brought on by the mouth noises of other people eating with their mouths open, exacerbated by being trapped in small places with them. Picture me pulling my car over & making people throw out their gum when I was driving in highschool. As it is now I purposefully remove myself from eating with people who cannot chew with their mouths closed. At work I place myself as far from certain individuals as possible, at home I eat in my room, when riding/driving in cars I try very hard to be sure I am not along for a drive-thru run if it means eating with others in the car.

For years I have tried to express my disgust, that such noises make me feel nauseous, the general response is for people to not only continue making the noises but to make a sport of it. Laughing because of my obvious discomfort. The end result is that in the future I avoid eating around them. I have been having moments lately wherein I feel like I should apologize for this. I realize that the idea of apologizing for someone else's inability to chew with their mouth closed is ridiculous, pure ridiculousness. I state my needs, have them ignored or made fun of, then simply leave. It does make for awfully strange when in general the only meal I share with others is lunch at work.