ack tired...

Things are moving w/the hackerspace, I am happy. The new space tonight, I somehow want to have the right temp for me to relax & get into it. Instead I feel overheated & gross. I am blurgy, I spent the day on the phone w/ Medicare trying desperately to sort out verification of coverage for patients.

On the insane side I saw one of my old old coworkers, I loved seeing her, her daughter was having her hair done by the woman about to do my hair. My hair is lovely & we managed to catch up on all the goods. I forgot how much I loved the people at that job.

I had a long listen w/ a friend who jumped off of the wagon & is in the process of swinging himself back onto it. It was good to hear truth from him. I'm worried but not freakin out about him. There is a part of me that believes that I've done my very best to give him the options that I know for his situations & to support him, but I cannot make him follow the path I want him on. I know that.

The trees - Plasti-Dipping the bottoms of the roots seems to be the trick to letting them retain flexibility & not scratch surfaces. I think that I need to do 2 coats on the sharpest bits. I'm refinishing the copperwire w/pale blue/green glassbeads necklace that I finished last night, needed to shorten it & re Plasti-Dip it. Cure tonight & set to wear to work tomorrow. The commissioned piece I sold to a coworker has already landed another commission on my desk. I am pleased. I am utterly joious. I am not budgeting $$$ into my life from this stuff, but I am starting to make a bit of $$$ for the $$$ I've spent on supplies. I just want enough to pay for hackerspace proper membership & possibly fund a "getting-my-life-back-in-order-right-goddamned-now" savings account. I would love to have enough socked away to survive alone. I would love to go back to surviving alone. Granted people have become center stage in my world again. BUT I miss my independence.

Following this note - it is kinda messed up but my time w/ the boi are my most independent feeling times lately. Not in control of him sensation or "teaching/showing" sensation. Just free & stable & balanced on my own feet. Back to BNL lately on the revolving playlists, i'm sure rounding the corner back to Buffett, but you'll have that when I crave the lyrics of my life.

"Anything plain can be lovely, anything loved can be lost
Maybe I lost my direction, what if our love is the cost?
Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time?
What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind "

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