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24.12.08

Remember this?


well this?  Get this - I acted the grown up & dropped it, I did not call him & bother him, I caught the hint that he was not into me & acted in a mature manner - the guy just IMed me - started talking like we were friends, like I in any way am emotionally invested enough to care that he is alone & has had a rough day.  I'm alone, I've had a rough month or three...


SERIOUSLY: It is like being picked last on the playground by the boi you have a crush on - on one hand you want to go and play because you sort of like him, on the other hand there is the fucking insulting manner he chose to spend time with you.  as a kid I might have just accepted it & played - as a grown up I resent the implication that I am worth anything less.  

I'm taking my Capt's 100 Proof  & heading for the bathtub, to read some Borges & be reminded that finding a lil physical comfort in this world is not always the most complicated thing ever.  Wish Patrick & Sarah were here to join me.  mmmmmmm  so simply delightful.  

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