Complicated, Polyamorous...

I am complicated: A loving, hateful, kind, harsh, open-minded, judgemental (capable of judging & applying those judgement calls to my life), hyper-analytical, ruled by emotions & instincts, yay me. I am also not capable of simple relationships these days. My last real relationship, can we call it that? - it certainly went on for a while but when a boi can't even tell you my eye color - really? - no. Bloody hells no, add in a psychotic wife/ex-wife and you have me playing punching bag for their emotional bullshit on top of the hard places my life was going through. & in all honesty her punching bag. I became the focus of her bad wiring. I feel bad for the next girl he gets involved with, whoever she may be, unless the anti-psychotic meds have been administered appropriately. I digress, I really feel a font of horrible sounding truths about her that I have kept silent on for a long time, I know I took a few too many attacks from her in silence. Regardless I am complicated. And I am officially in a complicated relationship with someone. I like it - we've been working on it for a while I guess, we spend time & communicate & it feels good. No haze or "if we don't talk about it, it doesn't exist", he doesn't hesitate to tell me what he is thinking, affectionate without fear. I am happy about it. I was happy before we said "yes" officially.