12.1.10
Recurrences
Oi, my life - it is important to note that I am employed again. Soon there will be more & more of my random epiphanies from the drives to & from the new job.
So today on the way home I was musing. A recent quote reiterated by people to me my entire life - some semblance of "I never want to be on your bad side". There are 2 situations which cause that statement: 1. they have just witnessed whatever little things are in my control (usually just myself) reacting to someone/thing that has done wrong by me. or 2. Someone who is still getting to know me & they hit upon the hard part of me & they are afraid of it.
Epiphany: Every Single Person - without exception who has offered such statements in situation 2 has done so already realizing that they have done wrong by me. They have proceeded to hide whatever they did. Hoping I would never find out. When I did find out they ran - unable to face me as they are cowards & unable to face anyone or having built me up so much in their heads that they were afraid of "what I am capable of". I am usually hurt by their behavior as they extricate themselves from my life - unless their trangressions are such that they simply cannot be allowed anywhere near me.
Henceforth all people that I meet no matter the circumstance as we become friends - IF they offer the unsolicited commentary re: situ 2 they will be marked in writing most likely here - just to see if my memory is an accurate prediction of future behaviors & the type of people/reasons people say that. That I am reading Drunkards Walk might have something to do with the need for measurable results, my apophenic self needs this right now.
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