Legal update

I have to go back for a hearing on 10/10 - 1 week from today. My officers (my many many policeman pts) are full of advice & love. 1 of the pts who was not strictly speaking mine, but whom I had fixed a few things on at his primary therapist's request, works at the courthouse and kept an eye on me the whole time on Tuesday. He was impossibly sweet and kind to do so. karma karma karma. So lots of prayers please

The training for volunteering is a huuuuuge help in keeping me preoccupied, I just finished my homework for tomorrow night this afternoon. Apparently we will be going over the face to face advocacy program in a little more detail tomorrow night. I am very interested in helping as a Hospital Advocate, that is to say when a survivor comes to a hospital, I could be called in and advocate for the survivor - basically be there, hold hands, ask the nurse examiner to reiterate questions, answer questions, refer the survivor to other services.

I think I want to do that. I never went to the hospital after I was raped. Not as a part of the ordeal. I went later on, months later and was checked out for STDs, pap smears, etc... I was lucky and wasn't pregnant. I was very alone. I had everyone around me and no one I could really talk to. Even now, I choose my words so carefully. Even now when I talk to the few, it is always a fear that they will just leave, just walk out of my life, disappear. I like the idea of helping again, helping someone else, anyone else through their experience. Every horror story I hear makes my experience more real and more surreal, the emotions in others weren't the same as in me when I had them. I know every experience of everything is unique. But there is so much the same. Last night there was legal stuff, convictions, prosecutions, and the like. My rapist is dead. I am alive, and he is not in jail, he was not ever in jail. He was never prosecuted.

Feh, enough of that. I am going to lay down & prep for my 14 hrs tomorrow - yes Wayne, just like u from 8-10 tomorrow - that'd be why I won't be by to see you anytime soon, but ur in my thoughts.