Strange Days in my heart...

I've written on such things before & I feel an update is in order. for names & details & of course the all important whether or not you know the individuals in question please ask me directly. Ahhh such is my life - I have found myself involved in an ever evolving relationship of sorts with the most amazing couple in Philly - I adore them & miss them loads, I find myself batted back and forth tween them whoever is online & has a bit of sparetime when I do. I have undefined relationships growing with several other men (3) all of whom are either married or involved with others but are in open/varying degrees of polyamorous relationships. I'm fighting the urge to really push things forward. I so very much want to sit back & see how things develop. I love the clear & open communications with them & there is an attraction with at least 2 of their other partners as well. I am truly enjoying the exploration & the honesty. & I love the solid friendships they are all based within. Although I am still craving that "get home from work, exchange footrubs, talk, sleep with, wake with, slight tug as we part ways" day to day life with a or several significant others. & for those of you about to point the finger at me screaming "whoreslut!!!" : still no sex for well over a year. I miss sex & proper kissing with someone I am attracted to. & the last time I kissed someone - hmm I was kissed at the last party @ the FTS Compound, but no real attraction there & the last time I slept with anyone I was in Pittsburgh & cuddling Kerry in the early morning hours (thank you Kate for waking me & inviting me - I truly do not have words for how much I needed that.)

Oh the beginning it shall be - one bright day last March Froggy & Tyger invited me to tag along to a Recycled Rainbow meeting. This was after I had been threatening her all week that I was going to bring over my paraffin bath & force her to use it on her lil hands. Not because I am a Dom but because I want everyone I care about to be healthy & whole. The Plan - plug in bath, go to meeting, get food, dip body parts & watch movies. The Reality - plugged in bath, went to meeting, fell in adoration w/ the concepts being bandied about, went for food - ended up at afterparty/mixer @ Everyman/DG's place, had an amazing time. & from there it grew. Everyman took it upon himself to invite me to Tuesday Teatime & I have been in attendence ever since. I enjoy the people & the vibe. I've kvetched more than enough that I have been long absent from the poets & artists. & I've found some. A few smokers in the lot but I love them anyway & they are utterly respectful of the fact that I want nothing to do w/ the vile cigarette smoke. But passions & fury are so nice to be near whether they match my own or not. So good to be associating w/ people who do things instead of sit around for hours playing the "What do you wanna do" game. I've needed this.

By the next meeting I was arriving & leaving on my own - drawn like a crazed moth to the flame.

So Memorial Day weekend I participated in Primer with them. Primer is the event before THE Event. It is the prototyping/generally mucking about version of Recycled Rainbow proper which will take place in September. Katelynn was there with me - that is I offered her cheap camping & fun & she took it. I think she fell in love with things like I did but I'm just speculating. Katelynn brought the giant 18month old Rottie named Coffee with her - so I helped w/ aunty duties throughout the weekend, I love that dog, and for a cat person like me to say that you know the animal is pretty damned special. We, Katelynn, Tyger, Coffee & I had the best walk along the railroad tracks. I loved getting to know everyone there so much closer. Late night fire talks, early rising to conversations around the campfire/ashes. I loved the sleeping in a tent again (the first time since I was in highschool). I loved setting up my lil area. I have definite ideas for RR this fall. I gave up fixing people on the ground & random chairs & set up my table in the pavilion giving me quick access to sorting out hip & back issues. With all the building going on (24' domes, 8' platforms, Metamorphasis) it was easier for me to fix than watch people in pain all weekend. I loved the music & the sights. I even loved the constant train traffic. The names of the participants are etched on my brain & heart & I am not gonna bore you with all of the moments unless they pop up later in my writing.

I'm still in process. I'm still sorting out how & what this all means. Bare with me while I do this.

Memorial Day Weekend 2009

I'll be @ Primer w/ the Recycled Rainbow peoples.   JOIN US.  I'd love to see you there.  I am sooo looking forward to rest & play & make & joi & fire.  

Fuck McDos

i still have nightmares about a certain classmate (Jon) in highschool sitting in French class trying to act cooler than the average kid by adding the hard {a} sound to end of words & only succeeding in pissing off the French teacher & grating on my nerves.  AND NOW fucking McDonalds has an entire ad campaign centered on the idea that adding the sound to the end of words makes them "special" - I want to kill the ad guys/gals that came up with that one.  Slowly.  very very slowly.

Hai thair

I needs money in ways I cannot describe.  I needs to supplement about $500 into my monthly income.  I needs ideas & patients.  So if you know anyone looking for relaxation work even - I'll do it.  Seriously.  It's complicated, so I am not going to try to even explain it in writing.  Just call me w/ anything you have.

Also dead

Wow, "The Women's Room" came out the year I was born & yet I am so joious to not be in it.

Dom's Dead

His voice - for me at my age I love his live action works but HIS voice, how many cartoons did I hear him in? - such joi - in the cartoons in my head he is always voicing someone. I'm sad for his family- I've spent so many years watching his sons & they do such amazing work. I hope their life was everything they needed it to be.

Derby Day

No Mint Juleps for me - mmm though I think we needs to find some time to spend an afternoon sipping soonish.

The lil angel's First taste of human flesh today was perfect.  I had a horrible time not "going like this" - I love Cthulu so very much.  & yes I restrained myself from getting her an idol of the Elder Gods.  such delicious sanity nom nom nom...

Happy Beltaine

Merry May Day to all - so much joi - Froggy & Tyger's party looks to be the greatest thing going tomorrow & for a while.  

So much new in my life this spring to be grateful for the entire RR crew & then some - I love so much the people who've fallen into my life thanks to F & T - Seriously.

Sidenote as I sleep alone: no fertility rites in my house, please.

You wanna know

Why the economy is so fucked up.
Seriously.
BECAUSE 10 cents is not a dollar.
BECAUSE 25 cents is not a dollar.
BECAUSE 75 cents is not a dollar.
BECAUSE 89 CENTS IS NOT A FUCKING DOLLAR
When you walk into my office & you have a copay - you needs to pay your fucking copay. YOU needs to pay YOUR fucking copay. I AM NOT EXPECTED TO PAY YOUR FUCKING COPAY JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A JOB. Certainly not without a thank you.

So this bitch comes in to my desk today, and I ask how she would like to pay her copay today & she throws a twenty dollar bill onto the desk. Then she begins counting out the singles & realizes she has only 4 dollars. Her copay is $25. NOT $24. I offer that she can pay via credit/debit card or check & she insists that she wants to pay via cash. As I am making a copy of her card she then informs me that she has 89 cents & that will just have to do. So I supposed to accept $24.89 in lieu of the $25 she owes to see the doctor today - You know that I don't work in an office that handles any sort of emergent cases therefore this is not life or death. The bitch (& I didn't start thinking of her as a bitch until this point) says it will just have to do & goes & sits down. Not a word of thank you, or hey, I'm having a problem could you help me out, or blushing that she didn't have enough asking in any way for assistance. NOPE NADA. FUCK THAT SHIT. So the 11 cents came out of my pocket & I'm pissed. not because I helped someone - but because the fucking bitch's sense of self-entitlement was palpable. I wanted to punch her & be like, I'm sorry that was for the 11 cents. I'm not free bitch.

Catch up

Bea Arthur, my beloved Dorothy has left us, the memories and comparisons of her & my grandmother are many & deep.

HIV+, AIDS, & my living dead bois. Money, time, luck, & love make all the difference in the world.  

So much wrong with the crime, BUT the Andrade verdict brings me so much joi.  I hope it helps.  The tragedy is unforgivable.  

J G Ballard - has left us - It's too late to link it.  If you don't know why it's sad, I cannot help u - The life he lived leaves me in awe second only to his skill in expressing himself & his sight of our future.

I've been swallowed by facebook

I swear that I will resume writing things of substance this week.

Things that make me cry

The Host is dead - so young only 2 years older than I. My breath caught in my throat as I read much as it did watching him be beheaded many moons ago. 

Sad sadder saddest

Colder than frozen things

Where are you now

When there is naught to life 

but fragile demons wings

Who knew?

Your result for The Watchmen Personality Type Test...

Rorschach

You scored 79% Moral Imperatives and 44% Attitude!

You are extremely moral absolutist.

While you unwaveringly follow a strict moral code, you often fail to demonstrate the empathy needed to make a moral decision. You find institutional forms of order unsatisfactory and oppressive and believe that your uncompromisng standpoint somehow exempts you from accusations of wrong-doing.

While some might respect your individual and steadfast perspective, be prepared for the possibility that the practical majority might find your black and white moral code unnacceptable.

Take The Watchmen Personality Type Test at HelloQuizzy

This is so where I am today

Oh the wildlife at work

we have Wild Turkeys!!! not just bosses who make me wish for Wild Turkey & deer, deer everywhere.  Also a cardinal, blue jays, raccoons, bunnies, at least 1 hawk to keep at the squirrels,  & a couple of geese in residence.  I actually dig this part of my day.

ok for the record possible tmiwtf

I've been bleeding for 3 weeks - seriously - & now that I am "supposed" to be bleeding I am clean - cramping less & yet blargh...

Just thought I'd share.

mmmmmmmm

Mmmmmm additional Katamari note: I am now craving naan naanaanaan naanaan naan naan naanaan naan naanaan naan mmmm What time does the Indian buffet open today?

Eeeep

I found a Katamari game for my phone.  Ahhhh after defeating the other puzzle games I've acquired it brings me joi to resume rollin w/ the Prince.  I love lil things that make me happy.

Changes...

I'm caught up for the moment - things may alter as I come off the meds but really this is the perfect time for me to be screwing with the coding. If you have issues (are unable to read, etc...) the new layout - hustle me & if I love you enough I might change it.